The Miami holiday is probably the best moment right now. Cuban food, coffee (they serve after every single meal how awesomee), Spanish (I learnt how to count 1-10 in Spanish todayy) and what's most warm, welcoming and friendly are the people and families I met here.
Brb to write soon.
These guys here are such a wonderful blessings. Period.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Not bad for the 7 months
Not the boyfie, not the anniversary, and definitely... not the baby.
So... you'll know that feeling when someone on the streets goes up to you and ask for directions and we go like :"Oh just take the right turn until you see CVS and (bla bla, black sheep have you any wool)". That feeling called 'Ooh I'm one of the residences here!' is slowly taking in its form.
Boston is pretty much like the place now, for those who lives in a certain area after a while got bonded with that place, familiar with how things go and when the time comes to move out, then there comes also the hard-to-let-it-go moment.
I don't know. It feels a little like... a place to stay for a while.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
So... you'll know that feeling when someone on the streets goes up to you and ask for directions and we go like :"Oh just take the right turn until you see CVS and (bla bla, black sheep have you any wool)". That feeling called 'Ooh I'm one of the residences here!' is slowly taking in its form.
Boston is pretty much like the place now, for those who lives in a certain area after a while got bonded with that place, familiar with how things go and when the time comes to move out, then there comes also the hard-to-let-it-go moment.
I don't know. It feels a little like... a place to stay for a while.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
I'm lovin' it !
Seeing some of the girlie friends I know, female film composers graduating from Berklee or have graduated already makes me so proud of the number of female composers in this industry !
Though it's not a huge number, BUT we are growing ! We can write music too. And though there's the huge debate on gender issues of who writes the better music in specific genre, well... we all have emotions- man or woman. So do our best in writing that right feeling in our music to match what's on the screen. And this... takes time to learn and grow and mature in our writing, observation and feelings.
I'd tell you, film scoring is really really an interesting job. LOVE it every single day !
Though it's not a huge number, BUT we are growing ! We can write music too. And though there's the huge debate on gender issues of who writes the better music in specific genre, well... we all have emotions- man or woman. So do our best in writing that right feeling in our music to match what's on the screen. And this... takes time to learn and grow and mature in our writing, observation and feelings.
I'd tell you, film scoring is really really an interesting job. LOVE it every single day !
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
An Honest Despair
Environment can really affect us.
When times like this happen, rise up, be encouraged and...
Well honestly, I really don't have a legit solution this time. To be an overcomer in this, I'll remain faithful to God, though I cannot see things, I will believe God, his words given to me, his truth, promises and the love he has for me and the rest of the people in this world. I will keep driving myself and be remindful with the things I do simply for the love of God and people. People will not love us as much as God loves us. They don't think of us every minute every hour, but God does.
When Jesus was in the world, I don't think He received back all the love from everyone He has for them. Yet, he still love and serve them, and do things like washing his disciples' feet. He didn't care so much about whether his friends love him enough or not. He knows who he is, his identity as the Son of God. And that the Father loves Him perfectly and that's just good enough, more than good. Nothing can change and affect the Father's love for Him and for us. Since we are adopted as sons and daughters in Heaven, God's kingdom, we should know this privilege, GREAT, SPECIAL AND ENORMOUS love, and identity.
I will live to love you. I will live to bring you praise. I will live a child in awe of you.
When times like this happen, rise up, be encouraged and...
Well honestly, I really don't have a legit solution this time. To be an overcomer in this, I'll remain faithful to God, though I cannot see things, I will believe God, his words given to me, his truth, promises and the love he has for me and the rest of the people in this world. I will keep driving myself and be remindful with the things I do simply for the love of God and people. People will not love us as much as God loves us. They don't think of us every minute every hour, but God does.
When Jesus was in the world, I don't think He received back all the love from everyone He has for them. Yet, he still love and serve them, and do things like washing his disciples' feet. He didn't care so much about whether his friends love him enough or not. He knows who he is, his identity as the Son of God. And that the Father loves Him perfectly and that's just good enough, more than good. Nothing can change and affect the Father's love for Him and for us. Since we are adopted as sons and daughters in Heaven, God's kingdom, we should know this privilege, GREAT, SPECIAL AND ENORMOUS love, and identity.
I will live to love you. I will live to bring you praise. I will live a child in awe of you.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Sanity
You have nuuu idea how many countless times I feel like giving up this STUFF.
11 classes with 16 full credits is no joke. To cramp the learning information (which comes like a BUNCH of grapes!) and getting assignments done [on time] weekly, everything in 4 months time is one heck of a life.
However, God is... really... really, really... good to preserve my sanity.
Like, serioussssly !
A film editing and an analysis essay have just made it on time for submission. Now running (like running running) off to the film scoring lab to finish another project ! And to redo and tweak the old ones. There's the piano examinations on Wednesday as well ! And show and tell our projects on screen this Friday. We are blind writing on a project (which I think it's cool) and then on Friday, to match our music to the motion picture. It will be funny afternoon!
Will be sleeping over at the lab tonight ! :D For the first time! Monday 6pm to Tuesday 9am.
I can't wait to settle everything ! And off to Florida for a vacation ! :D Miami we're coming !!
11 classes with 16 full credits is no joke. To cramp the learning information (which comes like a BUNCH of grapes!) and getting assignments done [on time] weekly, everything in 4 months time is one heck of a life.
However, God is... really... really, really... good to preserve my sanity.
Like, serioussssly !
A film editing and an analysis essay have just made it on time for submission. Now running (like running running) off to the film scoring lab to finish another project ! And to redo and tweak the old ones. There's the piano examinations on Wednesday as well ! And show and tell our projects on screen this Friday. We are blind writing on a project (which I think it's cool) and then on Friday, to match our music to the motion picture. It will be funny afternoon!
Will be sleeping over at the lab tonight ! :D For the first time! Monday 6pm to Tuesday 9am.
I can't wait to settle everything ! And off to Florida for a vacation ! :D Miami we're coming !!
Friday, December 13, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Keeping up with the Konversation
In the middle of the night, at 1:45am, a wonderful conversation happened between God and me. Just the piano, my night voice, and God's presence.
Traveling on a journey with God is interesting and sometimes challenging. Once we know that we are traveling on the road we are called to, we can be assured that God takes care of every business, makes sure that we are well fed and protected by any harm.
The intriguing part is that some dreams, heart's desire and visions that come from two different worlds, and to figure out how do these two, three or four will tally together becomes a mystery. This mystery will eventually be solved, revealed and come to past at the right appointed time, all in due time.
When we decided to dedicate our lives to God, using the giftings we have for the glory of God, we can know that God's presence, favor and anointing go with us because this is his plan and his plans are good for those who follow his plans. He knows everything, our past, present, future, struggles, characters etc. because he made us and he knows what is best for us.
I John 2:27 But as his anointing teaches you about everything- and is true and is no lie, just as it has taught you- abide in him. God's anointing teaches us the things in life too! So remain in him by continuously pursuing his heart's desire and thoughts. We use the talents in us to touch and heal lives, so that all may know who God is- this is our ultimate goal.
So much to share about in detail but it's 2:30am right now. I have to start on my film editing project... whyy... #feeling clueless.
:)
Traveling on a journey with God is interesting and sometimes challenging. Once we know that we are traveling on the road we are called to, we can be assured that God takes care of every business, makes sure that we are well fed and protected by any harm.
The intriguing part is that some dreams, heart's desire and visions that come from two different worlds, and to figure out how do these two, three or four will tally together becomes a mystery. This mystery will eventually be solved, revealed and come to past at the right appointed time, all in due time.
When we decided to dedicate our lives to God, using the giftings we have for the glory of God, we can know that God's presence, favor and anointing go with us because this is his plan and his plans are good for those who follow his plans. He knows everything, our past, present, future, struggles, characters etc. because he made us and he knows what is best for us.
I John 2:27 But as his anointing teaches you about everything- and is true and is no lie, just as it has taught you- abide in him. God's anointing teaches us the things in life too! So remain in him by continuously pursuing his heart's desire and thoughts. We use the talents in us to touch and heal lives, so that all may know who God is- this is our ultimate goal.
So much to share about in detail but it's 2:30am right now. I have to start on my film editing project... whyy... #feeling clueless.
:)
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Where the Field is the mission
Today is a good day to take time off and write a life's timeline.
Well, at least until it reaches the age of 39.
Sometimes when applying for applications involving somebody giving $$, questions like "Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?" and "What are your dreams" bla bla.
Even if it's not for an application, it is also good to once in awhile think about stuffs and goals, and write them down on a blank paper. Afterward, show God, the boss, and involve Him in it. Gotta' make sure to leave some space for Him to make rooms of better adjustments.
All my heart's desires and dreams are on that piece of paper. They serve as a guideline so that the journey isn't aimless. Dreams and goals were writen down a few time as reminders. But timeline, I feel that it is more like a sturdy plan in long run, like an overview or master plan. One can sometimes get veh caught up with studies and work and other things. PLan all we want, God determines them.
Also, I really admire my friends who's mission field is missionary missionary. As blessings, we all have different callings in different places to touch and heal lives. It also makes sense that our characters, personalities and up bringings tally well with our callings, and that the work that we do, we're good at it and that it comes naturally to us. Before we make any decisions about life career and all, know first our natural abilities and interest in specific. Confirmations do come from God, if we ask. So, there's your mission field. :)
Well, at least until it reaches the age of 39.
Sometimes when applying for applications involving somebody giving $$, questions like "Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?" and "What are your dreams" bla bla.
Even if it's not for an application, it is also good to once in awhile think about stuffs and goals, and write them down on a blank paper. Afterward, show God, the boss, and involve Him in it. Gotta' make sure to leave some space for Him to make rooms of better adjustments.
All my heart's desires and dreams are on that piece of paper. They serve as a guideline so that the journey isn't aimless. Dreams and goals were writen down a few time as reminders. But timeline, I feel that it is more like a sturdy plan in long run, like an overview or master plan. One can sometimes get veh caught up with studies and work and other things. PLan all we want, God determines them.
Also, I really admire my friends who's mission field is missionary missionary. As blessings, we all have different callings in different places to touch and heal lives. It also makes sense that our characters, personalities and up bringings tally well with our callings, and that the work that we do, we're good at it and that it comes naturally to us. Before we make any decisions about life career and all, know first our natural abilities and interest in specific. Confirmations do come from God, if we ask. So, there's your mission field. :)
Friday, December 6, 2013
Better than solving other (like Maths) problems
It is really rewarding to see the goals set earlier for each and every semester, all coming to past. Whatever goals that we have set for in life, whether to learn something or to work for something; when that time frame set has come to an end, boi, that satisfying accomplished feeling which can not be described, or pen down in words right now can inspire one to keep going and be better. It is because there weren't any giving ups during the tough periods. Those are valuable moments to refine a skill, for example, and also to toughen up one's character. When we can't, God can. When we begin to loose hope, (I assure, this happened to me) we can find them in Jesus.
Never been more happy to solve computer problems and orchestration writing. It is for good used very soon. Very very thankful to have made it to berklee and boston. God's plan is guaranteed, much much better than ours. It is challenging for me when it comes to computer writing, however once it has been settled or understood its terms and functions, it is really rewarding. Will definitely put into so much of good use real soon.
This is better than solving AddMaths problem :P
(We also do have some sort of Math-doing as well in computer lessons though! Woooaaat kien I saey... Math is just part of everything)
PS : Thank God for creating Cocoa... chocolate helps in so many ways !! Even if it's for breakfast :D
Never been more happy to solve computer problems and orchestration writing. It is for good used very soon. Very very thankful to have made it to berklee and boston. God's plan is guaranteed, much much better than ours. It is challenging for me when it comes to computer writing, however once it has been settled or understood its terms and functions, it is really rewarding. Will definitely put into so much of good use real soon.
This is better than solving AddMaths problem :P
(We also do have some sort of Math-doing as well in computer lessons though! Woooaaat kien I saey... Math is just part of everything)
PS : Thank God for creating Cocoa... chocolate helps in so many ways !! Even if it's for breakfast :D
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The basic of film scoring
Ugh. The assignments are so technical !
Computer is not my forte.
It's a whole lot of bittersweet memory taking this class.
Zomgosh. It's going to be life changing.
It's my life career !
The basic of film scoring is definitely to learn stuffs about how to operate softwares and writing music using those ( incredibly expensive $$ ) virtual instruments, connecting them from one place to another, tweaking here and there to make them sound as REAL as possible.
In such short amount of time, we are expected to digest informations in class like an expert. The thanksgiving break has really gotten school work and due dates all cramped up. Especially when it comes to technical terms and wiring... I don't even wanna go there.
Ahh !!
Thankful and yet, painful.
Computer is not my forte.
It's a whole lot of bittersweet memory taking this class.
Zomgosh. It's going to be life changing.
It's my life career !
The basic of film scoring is definitely to learn stuffs about how to operate softwares and writing music using those ( incredibly expensive $$ ) virtual instruments, connecting them from one place to another, tweaking here and there to make them sound as REAL as possible.
In such short amount of time, we are expected to digest informations in class like an expert. The thanksgiving break has really gotten school work and due dates all cramped up. Especially when it comes to technical terms and wiring... I don't even wanna go there.
Ahh !!
Thankful and yet, painful.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Giving Thanks
The word "thankful" can never describe enough really of how thankful, grateful and appreciative I am to the most wonderful One. He who took me by the hand to travel across the great wide oceans, all the way to a cold place called Boston in the United States.
Really? I'm actually living, breathing and surviving here for 6 months alreadyy!
The amount of friends, things and opportunities provided here from God are amazing. It is the quality, less of quantity. He shows me His love day by day through actions, as it is part of the love language I understand. Seeing Him at work- what He has given me, taught me and groomed me is an incredible part/moment of life for me now at this time, that when looking back one day, definitely, will thank Him over and over again. The only thing I'm worried sometimes is the plans that I make, that they might interfere His ones once in a while. And maybe my short-sightedness as well that bothers.
Still feeling fascinated with all the experiences I have here.
Because of the past, I've always dreamt of meeting sincere and warm friends. And here they are :') God saw my tears and answered my prayers! :') Not only that, coming here alone alivee (yes, the exaggeration) without mama and papa and sister and bro is some major life event ever that happened to me, which is the beginning of that something great that I always believe. In due time. My storybook is slowly filling up by the awesome Author. I want to read yours too !
:D
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday the 27th
On a rainy day, sipping hot chocolate with a cookie, wrapped under a warm blanket, and watching this girly movie on my laptop.
:D
:D
God with his children, wherever they are called to be out in that field, for His kingdom work.
When things get difficult and scary for me in the music industry, and when worries and doubts creep in, this song becomes my encouragement that helps me to remember the big God I serve. It's a strong expression. And if our God is with us, then who can ever stop us.
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
For Your sake, I will do it until the very last breath I have on earth. Because I love You so much that I gave up certain things just to follow You, and do what You want me to do. Your plans are better than mine, and they are meant good for me.
Okay, Hillsong Zion was here awhile ago, a few days ago and I missed it, omg they were so near to me in Boston and the tickets were sold out so quickly.
Okay, Hillsong Zion was here awhile ago, a few days ago and I missed it, omg they were so near to me in Boston and the tickets were sold out so quickly.
A Million of Things Going on in a Slow Down
It's thanksgiving tomorrow !
This week is a catching-breath one. Totally enjoying the slow down. I even watched a movie yesterday night- City of Ember (my 4th time watching it soo good !). Never practiced for my conducting because of the movie yet voluntarily went up in front of my class with that boldness to conduct. AHHHHH ! Now my teacher wants me to see him in his office hour, wanting to tidy things up and make me a better conductor! :D It's a good news.
A few days before thanksgiving, my mind is already very thankful that I'm in the states for half a year already! Super happy with Boston, Berklee, the friends I have and for the growth I had to where I am now. I am growing, so much, in terms of speaking up more, having my own thoughts, emotionally, and physically (yep, this is undeniable ! Sugar is everywhere in the American food.) Confession, I have Ben&Jerry's and Haagen Daaz almost every night.
The apartment where I'm staying, is clean and nice. Blasting my christian playlist as I was cleaning today. After tidying up, I am so down with a cup of hot chocolate. It feels like home :) My pastor is having an open house, I'll be making deep fried crispy wantons that goes along with his Mr.Turkey tomorrow.
Thank God for the imperfection in His perfection. In my weaknesses, He never leaves me alone to deal with it. He steadies my heart. The Lord also sees the heart and intention in every words, actions and deeds done.
#feelingenlightentoday Plus, it rained today, and the temperature went up. Love love loveeee the weather! That was why I went grocery shopping and had Bulgogi chapchae :D Your love is awesome, comforting and steady. I love love love loveee YOU God so much. I miss home and I don't miss home. Weird ahahah :) It's good to remember the beginning of God involved in our lives, and that why I'm here in the States for some reason that I now figured it out, trusting Him in so many ways, knowing that I'm in the process of doing something great very soon, at the appointed time. So is to all who loves God, all good things work for good for those who loves Him and He has our future secured in His hand.
I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I'll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!
This week is a catching-breath one. Totally enjoying the slow down. I even watched a movie yesterday night- City of Ember (my 4th time watching it soo good !). Never practiced for my conducting because of the movie yet voluntarily went up in front of my class with that boldness to conduct. AHHHHH ! Now my teacher wants me to see him in his office hour, wanting to tidy things up and make me a better conductor! :D It's a good news.
A few days before thanksgiving, my mind is already very thankful that I'm in the states for half a year already! Super happy with Boston, Berklee, the friends I have and for the growth I had to where I am now. I am growing, so much, in terms of speaking up more, having my own thoughts, emotionally, and physically (yep, this is undeniable ! Sugar is everywhere in the American food.) Confession, I have Ben&Jerry's and Haagen Daaz almost every night.
The apartment where I'm staying, is clean and nice. Blasting my christian playlist as I was cleaning today. After tidying up, I am so down with a cup of hot chocolate. It feels like home :) My pastor is having an open house, I'll be making deep fried crispy wantons that goes along with his Mr.Turkey tomorrow.
Thank God for the imperfection in His perfection. In my weaknesses, He never leaves me alone to deal with it. He steadies my heart. The Lord also sees the heart and intention in every words, actions and deeds done.
#feelingenlightentoday Plus, it rained today, and the temperature went up. Love love loveeee the weather! That was why I went grocery shopping and had Bulgogi chapchae :D Your love is awesome, comforting and steady. I love love love loveee YOU God so much. I miss home and I don't miss home. Weird ahahah :) It's good to remember the beginning of God involved in our lives, and that why I'm here in the States for some reason that I now figured it out, trusting Him in so many ways, knowing that I'm in the process of doing something great very soon, at the appointed time. So is to all who loves God, all good things work for good for those who loves Him and He has our future secured in His hand.
I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I'll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Again, I will say this
... that I wanna' be home tonight :)
But home is home. I won't be working then. Home is where I rest and eat well; to love and be loved by my family.
Looking at my schedule, I won't be home until God knows when. Even after I've completed my degree in berklee. That's too long to think ahead.
Right now, I just wanna be home... just for awhile.
Oh howww I miss you so badly Kuala Lumpur!
But home is home. I won't be working then. Home is where I rest and eat well; to love and be loved by my family.
Looking at my schedule, I won't be home until God knows when. Even after I've completed my degree in berklee. That's too long to think ahead.
Right now, I just wanna be home... just for awhile.
Oh howww I miss you so badly Kuala Lumpur!
Living in a dream for some time can make a person think of home once in a while.
Again, reminding myself to appreciate what I have and where I am now.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
How much is Too Much
This question has been going on for like the longest battle I've ever had inside my head.
When words used and actions made, I always think to myself inside- Are they for being kind and generous? Or am I just a people-pleaser.
Of cause the Bible says that we ought to be kind to one another; if a person slaps your right cheek let him slap your left too; and whatever not verses that we can look them up in the Bible. But how much is too much? To being a goodie goodie (yeah lame) christians or having someone else riding on our kindness and generosity? What is the balance between practicing the Christ-like love and being smart? The Bible also mentioned that we ought to be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).
Based on my experience with different kinds of people that have come across my life, I'd say, I'm good/I'm done with the number of people that have intersected in each other's paths. I never ask for more in my prayers to meet new people or friends, coz often, I think I might just get injured emotionally. Sometimes I even question myself or God why am I a fragile creature? Or am I just taking everything too personally. But you know what, every person are built/created to have emotions and feelings. That's because we have souls. Even God has feelings. And feelings need to be handled with care. We, in some point of time, need to take care of our own feelings as well. It is essential and necessary for a healthy being.
But then again, put others first ! Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Less of ourselves and all?
Absolutely.
Approach everyone with Christ-like love. Do good, bless them with what we have and with what we can give. In some cases, if prompted or convicted by the Holy Spirit to give something more than we can give, like having that feeling of tearing a part of ourselves and being stretched and challenged so much to give that $10 (for example), by all means, do it. It is God's purpose and plan.
But, there is also a point of time when we figure out that that fella, whom we have been giving generously, he or she has been taking and taking.. especially think to themselves that they actually deserve things from us and sucking the goodness out of us without the heart of actually being nice to us. Then, I personally think that it's time to stop being so (too) nice to that person. When we know that he can afford to have something on his own, then by all means, go get it or do it yourself,suckerr!
So what exactly is a people-pleaser? Having that guilt when I don't do something nice to somebody. Some would define this as, wanting the other person to return his kindness and generosity. Or, we don't want to antagonize a person, so we be the nice nice one. Yeah, in a way. As for me, I'll have that remorseful feeling if I did not give somebody something that I have. What a psychological problem. So I stop being very nice to them, to do someone else's chores, to make extra food for another, to do this, to give that, to share bla bla when I know that the person knows (omg the psycho line 'I know that he knows that she knows that i know' lol) that I just did an unspoken favour or help, and yet you never knew how to be the same kind and generous person back to the one who helped you do stuffs, or you pretended not to know. How unthoughtful and taking for granted on others. Thanks.
So how much is too much?
I'd say, be kind and generous to every person who come across you. Bless them.
But when we started to see what kind of person that is, who likes to suck the goodness out of us, who also think that they deserve stuffs from us and likes to just TAKE, that is the time to know our limits and start taking care of ourselves!
PS: Not that I hate meeting new people, it's just that sometimes having less of these kind of people would mean that I have lesser pain in my butt. By the way, musicians need to connect! That is networking, and that is different. It is business.
And I love my Anchor and Berklee friends. They are the most big hearted people I ever met. They are awesome.
When words used and actions made, I always think to myself inside- Are they for being kind and generous? Or am I just a people-pleaser.
Of cause the Bible says that we ought to be kind to one another; if a person slaps your right cheek let him slap your left too; and whatever not verses that we can look them up in the Bible. But how much is too much? To being a goodie goodie (yeah lame) christians or having someone else riding on our kindness and generosity? What is the balance between practicing the Christ-like love and being smart? The Bible also mentioned that we ought to be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).
Based on my experience with different kinds of people that have come across my life, I'd say, I'm good/I'm done with the number of people that have intersected in each other's paths. I never ask for more in my prayers to meet new people or friends, coz often, I think I might just get injured emotionally. Sometimes I even question myself or God why am I a fragile creature? Or am I just taking everything too personally. But you know what, every person are built/created to have emotions and feelings. That's because we have souls. Even God has feelings. And feelings need to be handled with care. We, in some point of time, need to take care of our own feelings as well. It is essential and necessary for a healthy being.
But then again, put others first ! Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Less of ourselves and all?
Absolutely.
Approach everyone with Christ-like love. Do good, bless them with what we have and with what we can give. In some cases, if prompted or convicted by the Holy Spirit to give something more than we can give, like having that feeling of tearing a part of ourselves and being stretched and challenged so much to give that $10 (for example), by all means, do it. It is God's purpose and plan.
But, there is also a point of time when we figure out that that fella, whom we have been giving generously, he or she has been taking and taking.. especially think to themselves that they actually deserve things from us and sucking the goodness out of us without the heart of actually being nice to us. Then, I personally think that it's time to stop being so (too) nice to that person. When we know that he can afford to have something on his own, then by all means, go get it or do it yourself,
So what exactly is a people-pleaser? Having that guilt when I don't do something nice to somebody. Some would define this as, wanting the other person to return his kindness and generosity. Or, we don't want to antagonize a person, so we be the nice nice one. Yeah, in a way. As for me, I'll have that remorseful feeling if I did not give somebody something that I have. What a psychological problem. So I stop being very nice to them, to do someone else's chores, to make extra food for another, to do this, to give that, to share bla bla when I know that the person knows (omg the psycho line 'I know that he knows that she knows that i know' lol) that I just did an unspoken favour or help, and yet you never knew how to be the same kind and generous person back to the one who helped you do stuffs, or you pretended not to know. How unthoughtful and taking for granted on others. Thanks.
So how much is too much?
I'd say, be kind and generous to every person who come across you. Bless them.
But when we started to see what kind of person that is, who likes to suck the goodness out of us, who also think that they deserve stuffs from us and likes to just TAKE, that is the time to know our limits and start taking care of ourselves!
PS: Not that I hate meeting new people, it's just that sometimes having less of these kind of people would mean that I have lesser pain in my butt. By the way, musicians need to connect! That is networking, and that is different. It is business.
And I love my Anchor and Berklee friends. They are the most big hearted people I ever met. They are awesome.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Ma
My mother. Stayed up so late just to Skype with me.
Even though there's the 930am service tomorrow in church.
Sometimes she would wake up super early to prepare food,
if she's on that week for food ministry.
She always pours out words of wisdom and encouragement on me. I can never wanna' ask for a better mom cuz she IS the best. She is my best friend; Esther, Derrick and Daddy too.
Lots of LOVE!
I wanna come homeee for a while!
Two Words
Malaysia
and
HISChurch.
Whom I dearly miss.
And without them, a part of me died.
Boston is a wonderful place. But nothing beats home.
Sometimes, it's the different wavelength that makes things uneasy.
Still searching for that one thing though.
and
HISChurch.
Whom I dearly miss.
And without them, a part of me died.
Boston is a wonderful place. But nothing beats home.
Sometimes, it's the different wavelength that makes things uneasy.
Still searching for that one thing though.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Your Presence is Heaven to Me Israel Houghton *NEW VERSION*
http://www.youtube.com/v/kQAwpMFS_9o?version=3&autohide=1&feature=share&autoplay=1&autohide=1&attribution_tag=4rvk3KfWHfHVXGpxo8FYNg&showinfo=1
"Your Presence Is Heaven"
"Your Presence Is Heaven"
Who is like You Lord in all the earth
Matchless love and beauty, endless worth
Nothing in this world will satisfy
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Treasure of my heart and of my soul
In my weakness You are merciful
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs
Holder of my future days to come
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
All my days on earth I will await
The moment that I see You face to face
Nothing in this world will satisfy
'Cause Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Nothing in this world will satisfy
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
[repeat]
Every single word...
Matchless love and beauty, endless worth
Nothing in this world will satisfy
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Treasure of my heart and of my soul
In my weakness You are merciful
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs
Holder of my future days to come
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
All my days on earth I will await
The moment that I see You face to face
Nothing in this world will satisfy
'Cause Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Nothing in this world will satisfy
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Jesus You're the cup that won't run dry
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Your presence is Heaven to me
[repeat]
Every single word...
is a worship this morning for me. Check ot Israel Houghton's version.
Smart or not smart
In Malaysia, students are being labeled as 'SMART' or 'not so smart' kids, using public tests like UPSR, PMR and SPM examinations as the yardstick. Get as much As as you can. If you can't get straight As, you are not as smart as the ones with a string of As, that is standing right next to you in your class photo. If he can do it, why can't you? Oh, I see, you aren't as diligent as that smarty pants, or, simply you aren't as smart as that person lah !
Smartness does not revolve only in exams. I think it is important too to be clever in how well you are able to communicate with people, be relatable, able to connect with others through conversations, our thinking, lifestyle, and conduct, in actions, words, having that right attitude etc. All in all, able to carry ourselves well when face with people and difficult situation. I think that's what makes a person smart- how he comes out with a good solution and overcomes problem in real life situation, not so much on his studies. But in all things, they are supposed to be balanced as well.
Thankfully, the three of us didn't have problems in our studies. Just recently, my little bro had his chance of proving himself that he is smart enough (I always think that my little bro is smart, sometimes even smarter and wiser than me) to this Malaysian education society. He scored straight As (all 5 of them) in his first major public exam- UPSR. We the family saw how hard he worked day and night, buckling up himself with his malay language (it wasn't easy though that subject, it was tougher in his generation) and saw him cried many times because of the pressure his school teachers exerted on them - that same stupid crap mentality lah that we all the malaysian students get, that is 'if you don't get straight As, you have no bright future'. And that look someone gives you like "Hmm, maybe.. you should also reconsider yourself applying for med schools or not."
Smartness does not revolve only in exams. I think it is important too to be clever in how well you are able to communicate with people, be relatable, able to connect with others through conversations, our thinking, lifestyle, and conduct, in actions, words, having that right attitude etc. All in all, able to carry ourselves well when face with people and difficult situation. I think that's what makes a person smart- how he comes out with a good solution and overcomes problem in real life situation, not so much on his studies. But in all things, they are supposed to be balanced as well.
Thankfully, the three of us didn't have problems in our studies. Just recently, my little bro had his chance of proving himself that he is smart enough (I always think that my little bro is smart, sometimes even smarter and wiser than me) to this Malaysian education society. He scored straight As (all 5 of them) in his first major public exam- UPSR. We the family saw how hard he worked day and night, buckling up himself with his malay language (it wasn't easy though that subject, it was tougher in his generation) and saw him cried many times because of the pressure his school teachers exerted on them - that same stupid crap mentality lah that we all the malaysian students get, that is 'if you don't get straight As, you have no bright future'. And that look someone gives you like "Hmm, maybe.. you should also reconsider yourself applying for med schools or not."
Anyway, that boy in blue uniform, is my bro. Derrick.
Alongside with his classmates who got that straight As thing.
(I promise will use a better word the next time, besides 'thing' haha)
He also prayed and asked God that he wanted to be a prefect in school,
so that people would respect him and not mess with him because
of his size. You know, school bullies. Oh the horror.
But I think his heart is big.
And that's all that matters.
:)
Sincerely, Daphne
Last Sunday, Gretel, my good friend invited me to sleepover at her place.
It was so nice of her to host me.
We had Chinese take outs, watched Christmas movies, one was wayy too cheesy and the other wasn't that bad, helped her with her laundry, and spent the whole night girl talking. We also went to Barnes and Nobles for coffee and had a while of studying. And then she dropped me off at my pastor's place for cell group. Oh, she makes good coffee too! Otto, her husband is blessed to have her. She is blessed to have Otto too. Man, so happy for them ! :D
I can't ask more for a better friend. She is always on the lookout to help people and has taken good care of me since I got here, helped me in my moving, fed me well and omgosh, it was simply just stress-free and fun just hang out with her. Getting out of the berklee beach temporary, assignments and my apartment has recharged me in a way. Very grateful to have a thoughtful and dear friend like her.
Words here used aren't as fancy as a well-written piece of writing. I'm just saying it all from the bottom of my heart.
It was so nice of her to host me.
We had Chinese take outs, watched Christmas movies, one was wayy too cheesy and the other wasn't that bad, helped her with her laundry, and spent the whole night girl talking. We also went to Barnes and Nobles for coffee and had a while of studying. And then she dropped me off at my pastor's place for cell group. Oh, she makes good coffee too! Otto, her husband is blessed to have her. She is blessed to have Otto too. Man, so happy for them ! :D
I can't ask more for a better friend. She is always on the lookout to help people and has taken good care of me since I got here, helped me in my moving, fed me well and omgosh, it was simply just stress-free and fun just hang out with her. Getting out of the berklee beach temporary, assignments and my apartment has recharged me in a way. Very grateful to have a thoughtful and dear friend like her.
Words here used aren't as fancy as a well-written piece of writing. I'm just saying it all from the bottom of my heart.
To my wonderful friend, Gretel !
:)
We're going to Miami end of this year !
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Berklee is in my heart... and other short stories
Words used to describe to berklee :
Eventful, memorable, stressful, housing lots of talented people, marinating them with lots and lots of information, churning them out into the industry like a freakin' amazing food processor, a place to sharpen skills (more like BOOT CAMP), and mind-blowing.
Yes, MIND BLOWING.
I can't stress enough how AWESOME BERKLEE is ! In the midst of all that is happening, sometimes still in disbelief to think that I'm actually placed here tonight.
Never regretted to obey God from the very beginning. Actually, He was the one who planned things and made things happened so that I can study in this number one music college in the world, according to the Hollywood reporters.
Sometimes I forget that it was God who can, actually make things happened. I get so caught up with tonnes of planning, doing things my own, taking things in my own hand to feel that I've gotten everything under control, everything's perfect, but then things will never always happen the way I wanted it to be. Then when I realized that I don't have anymore control over them, I felt like I'm off the tangent. THat's the downside though. And there needs to be some adjustment in this attitude.
I also feel that I have so much musical knowledge and information with me that I need to sit down and have a moment to process them.
It frustrates sometimes not to have all the answers at a time or at one go.
It's like I know all the cliche answers, like, okaayy, this is the time to trust God, have faith, be faithful with my calling and yada yada.
I also know that this point of time in my life is the most crucial part- the building of daphne's career, friendship, working friends, learning what are my working style, and character development especially the toughening-up-myself part- perseverance, endurance whatever names.
I wish I have all the solutions to these maths equations. I want it to be 1+1=10.
Eventful, memorable, stressful, housing lots of talented people, marinating them with lots and lots of information, churning them out into the industry like a freakin' amazing food processor, a place to sharpen skills (more like BOOT CAMP), and mind-blowing.
Yes, MIND BLOWING.
I can't stress enough how AWESOME BERKLEE is ! In the midst of all that is happening, sometimes still in disbelief to think that I'm actually placed here tonight.
Never regretted to obey God from the very beginning. Actually, He was the one who planned things and made things happened so that I can study in this number one music college in the world, according to the Hollywood reporters.
Sometimes I forget that it was God who can, actually make things happened. I get so caught up with tonnes of planning, doing things my own, taking things in my own hand to feel that I've gotten everything under control, everything's perfect, but then things will never always happen the way I wanted it to be. Then when I realized that I don't have anymore control over them, I felt like I'm off the tangent. THat's the downside though. And there needs to be some adjustment in this attitude.
I also feel that I have so much musical knowledge and information with me that I need to sit down and have a moment to process them.
It frustrates sometimes not to have all the answers at a time or at one go.
It's like I know all the cliche answers, like, okaayy, this is the time to trust God, have faith, be faithful with my calling and yada yada.
I also know that this point of time in my life is the most crucial part- the building of daphne's career, friendship, working friends, learning what are my working style, and character development especially the toughening-up-myself part- perseverance, endurance whatever names.
I wish I have all the solutions to these maths equations. I want it to be 1+1=10.
Hide
Tonight .. is one cold night.
Winter is on its way.
Pedestrians could see ices appearing on the ground. But the pond has not yet frozen. (Waiting to see if it actually will or will not become a big block of ice ! For one to ice skate on it would be a daring rat. )
Tonight, there are many thoughts to unpack from this little head.
Life, studies, plans, relationships, assignments, friends, FOOD (Y.E.S. in capital), and the best part is that, my 10am class for tomorrow got canceled !
That means, more time to do projects (still not having more time of sleep), and getting other important stuffs done.
Have you ever watched a movie that gets you really into it and totally forgotten about where you are at now?
I did. It ended 5 minutes ago.
Chocolat is the title for the movie.
I grabbed my burger and fries, and then off for a short trip to the world full of chocolates (and religious people in that movie whom it's sad to see them wrapped around, confused and deceived into thinking that, by doing good works then you are saved from God's wrath. Absolutely NOT true. Grace is given freely to all who believes in the name of Jesus. So simple- believe. And the rest is living under God's spirit's guidance, help, and power to overcome challenges in life), where I can hide myself in that fiction for awhile, away from school work and responsibilities.
Emotionally, not too good these days. I hate being pretentious but it's just there, written invisibly on my face. SOmehow, I still got it covered up. Super anti this feeling right now.
Can't wait to be done for this semester !!
It has been such a ride for me. I want a stopover to pull out just for a moment, get what I mean?
It means that, I wanna go back to Malaysia, REST and recharge, and to see my beautiful people again.
Winter is on its way.
Pedestrians could see ices appearing on the ground. But the pond has not yet frozen. (Waiting to see if it actually will or will not become a big block of ice ! For one to ice skate on it would be a daring rat. )
Tonight, there are many thoughts to unpack from this little head.
Life, studies, plans, relationships, assignments, friends, FOOD (Y.E.S. in capital), and the best part is that, my 10am class for tomorrow got canceled !
That means, more time to do projects (still not having more time of sleep), and getting other important stuffs done.
Have you ever watched a movie that gets you really into it and totally forgotten about where you are at now?
I did. It ended 5 minutes ago.
Chocolat is the title for the movie.
I grabbed my burger and fries, and then off for a short trip to the world full of chocolates (and religious people in that movie whom it's sad to see them wrapped around, confused and deceived into thinking that, by doing good works then you are saved from God's wrath. Absolutely NOT true. Grace is given freely to all who believes in the name of Jesus. So simple- believe. And the rest is living under God's spirit's guidance, help, and power to overcome challenges in life), where I can hide myself in that fiction for awhile, away from school work and responsibilities.
Emotionally, not too good these days. I hate being pretentious but it's just there, written invisibly on my face. SOmehow, I still got it covered up. Super anti this feeling right now.
Can't wait to be done for this semester !!
It has been such a ride for me. I want a stopover to pull out just for a moment, get what I mean?
It means that, I wanna go back to Malaysia, REST and recharge, and to see my beautiful people again.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
When grades speak
Dang man, feeling like a freakin' Asian now.
I no longer hide behind my sister's curtain anymore :) This is one of the best things that I learn here- churning out ideas and what's on my mind, and having my own stand on something. So far so good, my lecturers like my ideas. It's a great valuable learning experience I always thank God for making me do this- coming so far leaving home.
In my school days, all I do is to follow what my teachers said in school, exactly. I'm glad and thankful that I now learn, and to break away from becoming a robot.
Oh, it feels like HOME
On a cold Saturday late afternoon, I just had to make these wonderful little fried wantons !
You have nuuu idea how tough it is to work, cook, clean the house and babysit the family as a mummy !
Ahah ! Now I'm experiencing it. Except for the babysitting. Little Derrick has grown up already. He's turning 13 ! Ahhh ! :D
And then I made waffles for my roomie this week.
She was happy! I'm happy :D
To share food with people.
Especially sharing half, so that I don't get so bulat ! :PP
Food tastes better when we share.
Ooh, I made dim sum too this morning.
But the picture is in my room mate's phone.
With salted egg on the tip of the dim sums.
This morning, I cooked hot chicken noodle soup for breakfast reminded me of daddy who used to cook for the three hungry children at home.
Ginger, garlic, red onions... they are the best !
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Need that one day
There are times when thoughts like "What the heck am I doing here?" come running into my mind.
Seeing some profiles of my accomplished film scoring friends has made me think about what am I going to do with my own journey, the rest of my time in Berklee, and to start planning ahead what's after Berklee.
By God's grace, I will get there- to the place I should be going.
There're so many things I wanna' do in life.
In Berklee, during my summer break and after graduation.
I don't really know what I want yet, but I really know what I don't want.
There're really, so many things I wanna' do in life.
One thing I really know right now, is that I'm happy with film music.
Whenever I listen to any film music, a part of me breaks away and suddenly I realize that I'm totally immersed with the sound and mood of it.
But the process of writing, creating film music and being one of the bests in the market is tough, especially for women to break into the industry dominated by many talented men. The competition is high, just like in any other field and business. It's a giant.
Holiday is coming. Looking forward for the thanksgiving holiday. Not to relax and do nothing. But to chill with God, seek Him, and talk to Him about life. I just need that one day. Who else can understand me better, except for my Creator, regarding all my fears, worries, doubts, and lots of other personal stuffs.
I need that day. This semester has been a hell lot of work, I barely have time to process my thoughts properly, digest informations from classes and immerse myself with film music.
Where did all my time go? It went into getting assignments done. And to distress, I cook.
In two months time, I'll be 21.
Like, entering into the (young) adult zone of real life working world, meeting up with real clients, directors and a whole new bunch of people- both good and sneaky. The pressure would be much much much higher, because we get paid to do something- and that work must be of quality ones.
Time to plan- in dept, in detail. And to listen more carefully about my directions from God.
Seeing some profiles of my accomplished film scoring friends has made me think about what am I going to do with my own journey, the rest of my time in Berklee, and to start planning ahead what's after Berklee.
By God's grace, I will get there- to the place I should be going.
There're so many things I wanna' do in life.
In Berklee, during my summer break and after graduation.
I don't really know what I want yet, but I really know what I don't want.
There're really, so many things I wanna' do in life.
One thing I really know right now, is that I'm happy with film music.
Whenever I listen to any film music, a part of me breaks away and suddenly I realize that I'm totally immersed with the sound and mood of it.
But the process of writing, creating film music and being one of the bests in the market is tough, especially for women to break into the industry dominated by many talented men. The competition is high, just like in any other field and business. It's a giant.
Holiday is coming. Looking forward for the thanksgiving holiday. Not to relax and do nothing. But to chill with God, seek Him, and talk to Him about life. I just need that one day. Who else can understand me better, except for my Creator, regarding all my fears, worries, doubts, and lots of other personal stuffs.
I need that day. This semester has been a hell lot of work, I barely have time to process my thoughts properly, digest informations from classes and immerse myself with film music.
Where did all my time go? It went into getting assignments done. And to distress, I cook.
In two months time, I'll be 21.
Like, entering into the (young) adult zone of real life working world, meeting up with real clients, directors and a whole new bunch of people- both good and sneaky. The pressure would be much much much higher, because we get paid to do something- and that work must be of quality ones.
Time to plan- in dept, in detail. And to listen more carefully about my directions from God.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Tis the season... Soon !
When lecturer starts giving out Christmasy songs, we know tis' the season to be jolly !
:D
Yays !
Glad that I took this class. So much of learning and grooving.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Because of their love...
The Skype session with my sister was a little short. But we had a couple of updates.
Eventually, we came to a point where she suddenly started to tell me that all these while, she did not need to work so hard to get things. And I added to her saying that, 'Yeah, because mummy and daddy have been giving us things, and we do not need to work hard to get something,'. Whether something we want or something we need, mummy and daddy are always there to give.
I had the SAME thought as my sister a while ago about myself getting things easily, and that I do not need to work hard. This isn't something to be proud of. In a way, me and my siblings are really fortunate to have parents like mummy and daddy. But now, as we're growing up, we must learn to work (hard) to get something. Mummy and daddy won't be here forever with us. So much of sacrificed made by them because of their love for the three of us. And that they wanted to make things easy for us.
I just wanna be a really good and appreciative daughter to them. My siblings are wonderful people. Mom and dad, thank you for raising the three of us up well. Hope that we didn't give you guys much trouble! Although, yes, I had some rough times with friends in school that you always have to show up in school to defend me. Ahhh, long story ! :P
Eventually, we came to a point where she suddenly started to tell me that all these while, she did not need to work so hard to get things. And I added to her saying that, 'Yeah, because mummy and daddy have been giving us things, and we do not need to work hard to get something,'. Whether something we want or something we need, mummy and daddy are always there to give.
I had the SAME thought as my sister a while ago about myself getting things easily, and that I do not need to work hard. This isn't something to be proud of. In a way, me and my siblings are really fortunate to have parents like mummy and daddy. But now, as we're growing up, we must learn to work (hard) to get something. Mummy and daddy won't be here forever with us. So much of sacrificed made by them because of their love for the three of us. And that they wanted to make things easy for us.
I just wanna be a really good and appreciative daughter to them. My siblings are wonderful people. Mom and dad, thank you for raising the three of us up well. Hope that we didn't give you guys much trouble! Although, yes, I had some rough times with friends in school that you always have to show up in school to defend me. Ahhh, long story ! :P
Monday, November 4, 2013
Pausing a Little While
Tonight, I did not regret since the first day I arrived Boston. Although at times, there were thoughts of "Omgosh, why did I choose to do film scoring?", and all the mistakes made were valuable lessons. From choices done in selecting my classes (which overloaded my brain for this semester), to discovering myself more in this funny-how-I-actually-got-myself-out-wow-so-daring-alone amazing journey. I never had time in secondary school to search myself, what I like what I don't, my strengths and weaknesses, friends and all, because I was busy just studying and get straight As for my exams.
Some mistakes made were used to turn them around into positive ones. Or some, I thought that it was a mistake, it turns out to be a skill for me to master! That is, doing something last minute. This isn't my forte. I plan things in advance. But this will come in handy the next time in my work- when the director wants to change something on the spot, I must be ready to come out with something on the spot, under that kind of pressure, which is time.
Being spontaneous is a skill.
And like what James Newton Howard said today at the session, when thoughts like "why did I choose to do film scoring" pops out, shake those thoughts away. It'll come, from time to time, but he did not regret and can never wanna' do any other job other than writing film music.
See how his music in the Hunger Games when Rue dies in Katniss's arm, that made me teared. And the Land Before Time music done by James Horner, made me cry when I was only a kid! As young as 4 years old! Those kind of music can be powerful to move a person emotionally.
And so, I will continue with this journey. It will be a huge part of my life. It is becoming one. In the making ;)
Some mistakes made were used to turn them around into positive ones. Or some, I thought that it was a mistake, it turns out to be a skill for me to master! That is, doing something last minute. This isn't my forte. I plan things in advance. But this will come in handy the next time in my work- when the director wants to change something on the spot, I must be ready to come out with something on the spot, under that kind of pressure, which is time.
Being spontaneous is a skill.
And like what James Newton Howard said today at the session, when thoughts like "why did I choose to do film scoring" pops out, shake those thoughts away. It'll come, from time to time, but he did not regret and can never wanna' do any other job other than writing film music.
See how his music in the Hunger Games when Rue dies in Katniss's arm, that made me teared. And the Land Before Time music done by James Horner, made me cry when I was only a kid! As young as 4 years old! Those kind of music can be powerful to move a person emotionally.
 |
| Berklee has given me lots of opportunity, one of them is THIS! |
 |
| James Newton Howard- a picture I got without having to get special tickets to meet this Hollywood Star. |
 |
| George Clinton CHAIR for the Film Scoring Department in Berklee |
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| Who also conducted the interview session with James |
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| And James liked my name ! :DD |
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Waffles for the hungry people
Early Sunday morning breakfast.
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| Mom's EXCELLENT recipe ! It works so well!! PS: The first round decoration was waayy better :P |
And so, I'm enjoying food with some friends over waffles breakfast today!
Yesterday, the craving for Hainanese Chicken rice was so great that I decided to do a spontaneous cook out at my friend's place. It wasn't that bad. It was some serious cooking, didn't see that coming.
Next stop, DIM SUM !
Jajajajjajajaja.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
At the very last minute
Film music just makes me so happy !
But my composition teacher banned us from listening too much :/
And start listening to orchestral music.
Erm. Nope. I'm still listening to it. Cuz. I. LIKE it! :D
Film music also has a higher fluctuation of mood though in its music, in that 2-3 minutes of music.
PS : I made it ! I completed the two giant assignments in less than 24 hours! Never... no more... doing last minute. Psschk, yeah, that was what I said the last 7 times.
Yeah, it was several painful experiencess of sweating so hard and to finally hand in my work 5 minutes or even 2 minutes before the digital deadline inside the berklee website starts to tick off in red.
Not sure if this is a good training for me.
:D
But my composition teacher banned us from listening too much :/
And start listening to orchestral music.
Erm. Nope. I'm still listening to it. Cuz. I. LIKE it! :D
Film music also has a higher fluctuation of mood though in its music, in that 2-3 minutes of music.
PS : I made it ! I completed the two giant assignments in less than 24 hours! Never... no more... doing last minute. Psschk, yeah, that was what I said the last 7 times.
Yeah, it was several painful experiencess of sweating so hard and to finally hand in my work 5 minutes or even 2 minutes before the digital deadline inside the berklee website starts to tick off in red.
Not sure if this is a good training for me.
:D
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Can I ?
Layers after layers. Just like a puffy ball- under these wools, sweaters and Long John.
Tonight, I wished I'm back in KL.
Missing driving my car, missing wearing shorts, missing Mamak, the weather, and the smell of the noodle soup from hawker centre (mihun !!).
Now, I'm stuck with writing a screenplay (WHATT why did I sign up for this subject?!) and having a string orchestra to compose that is due tomorrow. BOTH ARE !! And to create a sequence and mp3 for my composition !!
Oh my dearest.
Why did I leave them a day before the due date?
Writer's block and composer's block going on at the same time. Wait, whyy?
How to pluck ideas from thin air?
To write a screenplay 6 pages long with such small font-- of 12?
Cwrap lah.
And a minimum of 2-minutes long of orchestra with a solo instrument.
Without sounding CHEESY !
Daphne daphne. DAPHNE !!
Wondering what does writing a screen play has got to do with film scoring ? I don't know! Maybe! But I don't see the point right now!
Ahhhh !! I will make it for tomorrow ! By hook or by crook.
Dear God. Hear my prayers.
Tonight, I wished I'm back in KL.
Missing driving my car, missing wearing shorts, missing Mamak, the weather, and the smell of the noodle soup from hawker centre (mihun !!).
Now, I'm stuck with writing a screenplay (WHATT why did I sign up for this subject?!) and having a string orchestra to compose that is due tomorrow. BOTH ARE !! And to create a sequence and mp3 for my composition !!
Oh my dearest.
Why did I leave them a day before the due date?
Writer's block and composer's block going on at the same time. Wait, whyy?
How to pluck ideas from thin air?
To write a screenplay 6 pages long with such small font-- of 12?
Cwrap lah.
And a minimum of 2-minutes long of orchestra with a solo instrument.
Without sounding CHEESY !
Daphne daphne. DAPHNE !!
Wondering what does writing a screen play has got to do with film scoring ? I don't know! Maybe! But I don't see the point right now!
Ahhhh !! I will make it for tomorrow ! By hook or by crook.
Dear God. Hear my prayers.
Spidey mission
See what fear can really do to you.
It grips your mind so tightly that it took me an hour to kill a half the size of my pinkie... spider. Long and brown, with thin hairy incy wincy legs.
Altogether 33 minutes to think that whether the spider will jump on me or not; 20 minutes to think whether I can do it or not, 6 minutes and 30 seconds to form the necessary weapons- a roll of music sheet paper taped with 5 cellophane tapes for better 'grip' [PARANOID] and a good amount of toilet rolls).
The other night I managed to slam a cockroach. Pfft what's a spidey?
An hour has passed. Time was delayed to complete that mission. I delayed it by arranging my shoes, putting my stuffs into places, brushing my teeth, Facebook here and there, and then finally...
I prayed and asked God for the courage.
I prayed and asked God for the COURAGE to whack a spider.
Oh. my. goodness.
Then came this point of time where I got sick of myself for taking so long to get rid of the spider, I went Nike- Just do it.
And I finished the task.
And thought that I'd feel the accomplishment of doing it.
I was more happy able to overcome my fear. For once, dad and mom weren't there to do it for me. I had to conquer it myself. But, at the same time, annoyed at myself for taking too long !! Imagine... with that one hour I can start an assignment or read a couple of Psalms !
This Daphne is now a changed person.
(My conducting teacher always says that lol after his students are done conducting in front of the class)
Spiders are ew to me. Sorry God :3
It grips your mind so tightly that it took me an hour to kill a half the size of my pinkie... spider. Long and brown, with thin hairy incy wincy legs.
Altogether 33 minutes to think that whether the spider will jump on me or not; 20 minutes to think whether I can do it or not, 6 minutes and 30 seconds to form the necessary weapons- a roll of music sheet paper taped with 5 cellophane tapes for better 'grip' [PARANOID] and a good amount of toilet rolls).
The other night I managed to slam a cockroach. Pfft what's a spidey?
An hour has passed. Time was delayed to complete that mission. I delayed it by arranging my shoes, putting my stuffs into places, brushing my teeth, Facebook here and there, and then finally...
I prayed and asked God for the courage.
I prayed and asked God for the COURAGE to whack a spider.
Oh. my. goodness.
Then came this point of time where I got sick of myself for taking so long to get rid of the spider, I went Nike- Just do it.
And I finished the task.
And thought that I'd feel the accomplishment of doing it.
I was more happy able to overcome my fear. For once, dad and mom weren't there to do it for me. I had to conquer it myself. But, at the same time, annoyed at myself for taking too long !! Imagine... with that one hour I can start an assignment or read a couple of Psalms !
This Daphne is now a changed person.
(My conducting teacher always says that lol after his students are done conducting in front of the class)
Spiders are ew to me. Sorry God :3
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Poem Appreciated
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Every single line.
To the very end.
Sneak Preview of the Pretty Wedding Tonight
Mr and Mrs. Ryan Seler :D
Finallyyyy !!
I have no idea why am I in the middle.
Really wanted to get another photo but it was a busy night for the couple.
Ahh wells !
The Bride's lovely sister Aubrey !
Maid of Honor.
Who worked so hard for the wedding and still remain calm and pretty al the time :D
Band of the night.
Yays. I'm happy for the newly wed couple!
:')
Like... really !!
It's really what I love doing ! - Planning, managing and decorating !
And Jewelry Making class. Cuz I wanna make free jewelries for my friends.
More pictures on Facebook soon :)
Friday, October 25, 2013
Feet gotta remain steady on ground
Summer has gone. And fall is near. It's here! Definitely experiencing the season changing.
Though the physical surrounding is going through a tremendous shift in temperature, and green leaves are turning to brown, red and yellow, my heart must remain steady, calm and loyal with my
season of life.
That is... to study and remain focus for the rest of the semester.
It's kinda difficult, there's the tendency to sleep more in cold weather, and when seeing things changing- people, environment, friends, happening stuffs going on in family etc. there's also the tendency to change or do something new/different as well, and put down the things doing half way or forget to finish the current season.
#overwhelmedwithschoolassignmentsandthingstodoonmylist
This calls for... endurance ! And perseverance.
Though the physical surrounding is going through a tremendous shift in temperature, and green leaves are turning to brown, red and yellow, my heart must remain steady, calm and loyal with my
season of life.
That is... to study and remain focus for the rest of the semester.
It's kinda difficult, there's the tendency to sleep more in cold weather, and when seeing things changing- people, environment, friends, happening stuffs going on in family etc. there's also the tendency to change or do something new/different as well, and put down the things doing half way or forget to finish the current season.
#overwhelmedwithschoolassignmentsandthingstodoonmylist
This calls for... endurance ! And perseverance.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Once In A Lifetime- Pressure at berklee
I only get to be a Berklee student once.
So, whatever the pressure is, I will go through it.
Reminding myself that I have God and not to worry that I will make it or not. Cuz, I can do all things through Christ who gives me STRENGTH.
After having dinner with some friends, two of them, Irma and Feri, have encouraged me not giving up and withdraw my classes. I don't wanna be a quiter. If I don't get through this semester, how will I be able to get through the next?
Both of them work so hard day and night, they even sacrificed their sleeping time and social life.
So... yays. I'm not withdrawing the classes. Plus, I will be working on campus soon. Work. Study. Work. Study. And now serving in church almost every Sundays- food, hospitality, worship team, greeters. Also attending two cell groups and two services on weekends. Work. Study. AND Church. Pluss, the never-ending berklee assignments????!!!! What if I don't have the mood to do the home work? Snap out of my mood swing and start working :/
And then, we cannot neglect our musical instruments as well. We needaaaa practicee !
Not only be good at Digital Performer and mixing stuffs, but have some a good decent standard in our principal instrument.
And then, we cannot neglect our musical instruments as well. We needaaaa practicee !
Not only be good at Digital Performer and mixing stuffs, but have some a good decent standard in our principal instrument.
Life.
I only get to live once as a college student.
Work hardd ! Get through this and be an overcomer.
It sounds like I'm in great pain.
Yeap.
I'm really feelin' in. Life is tougher compared to the ones in Malaysia / ICOM / SPM.
Yada yada.
This is the next giant to slay / challenge to overcome.
After this semester, I'm packing my bags to cross over to Miami ! Woo! Vacation babeh.
**
I was soooo close to handing in my withdrawal form. Actually, I handed it in and the guy told me to consider again over the weekend. I guessed I was overwhelmed with the workload.
Feeling thankful over the weekend for friends, and I'm well rested too :) Despite the plate-almost-full weekend. #Learninghowtomanagetime #growingupnyeheh
***
Also, I think the weather plays a part as well. It gets dark at 5.30pm- a time when the body tells me that 'I want to rest or sleep or watch a movie!' BUT... there're assignments to catch up.
And I'm hungry, all the time. All the time, I'm hungry. Omelette!! Ahhh :D
I'm really feelin' in. Life is tougher compared to the ones in Malaysia / ICOM / SPM.
Yada yada.
This is the next giant to slay / challenge to overcome.
After this semester, I'm packing my bags to cross over to Miami ! Woo! Vacation babeh.
**
I was soooo close to handing in my withdrawal form. Actually, I handed it in and the guy told me to consider again over the weekend. I guessed I was overwhelmed with the workload.
Feeling thankful over the weekend for friends, and I'm well rested too :) Despite the plate-almost-full weekend. #Learninghowtomanagetime #growingupnyeheh
***
Also, I think the weather plays a part as well. It gets dark at 5.30pm- a time when the body tells me that 'I want to rest or sleep or watch a movie!' BUT... there're assignments to catch up.
And I'm hungry, all the time. All the time, I'm hungry. Omelette!! Ahhh :D
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United (Zion)
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
The lyrics are fantastic. It encourages and pushes us to take a step deeper for God.
Unspoken feelings were magnified into words, which I appreciate the song writer for doing such a fantastic job.
Unspoken feelings were magnified into words, which I appreciate the song writer for doing such a fantastic job.
Really wanted to attend the Hillsong COnference at Boston U, but the tickets are sold out too fast.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Risk taken 5 months ago
When mummy and everyone at home say that I've grown, up, there's a smile lit up.
Pastor Jeff Bianchi mentioned about taking risk for God. Not simply taking any risks, we hear and obey be obedient and take that risk. Abram took locational risk; Daniel took a vocational risk, Jesus risked positionally; Paul risked comfort and security. They took the risk and see what happens? As for me, I took the locational risk. I don't even know how and whether can I survive living all by myself in overseas since I'm very well protected in Malaysia, the typical asian study-hard-and-score-straight-As student; go to school, go to tuitions, eat, study at home, go to church and watch TV at home. Home, school, church, home. Everywhere I go, I had to make sure I text mom or dad to tell them my whereabouts and all. Or that my sister would accompany me to go to Bangsar or Dad to go down town with me. Whatt? Yeah, just to drop off an application I made or what not. Yess, I'm very well protected.
Now that I'm out here without my home friends and family, I've never been happier living independently dependent on God more.
Btw, when God says to take that risk, bet sure that He has equipped you already. Just like a father who asked his son to paint the house, little did the son know that of course that father would provide the ladder, paintbrush, paint and bucket for him.
Not sure when I get back next year (if I ever go back) that I still know how to drive a car. Like... move a vehicle.
"Go and leave everything behind, go to the land I called you to go,"
Woohoo ! Ridin' on an adventure that God says I can take part in it. Keeping up with the pace now from day to day.
:)
PS: My little brother says that he's proud of me... gahhahaha! Little bro. He knows. He sees the changes in me. Thanks Derrick ! You are awesome.
Pastor Jeff Bianchi mentioned about taking risk for God. Not simply taking any risks, we hear and obey be obedient and take that risk. Abram took locational risk; Daniel took a vocational risk, Jesus risked positionally; Paul risked comfort and security. They took the risk and see what happens? As for me, I took the locational risk. I don't even know how and whether can I survive living all by myself in overseas since I'm very well protected in Malaysia, the typical asian study-hard-and-score-straight-As student; go to school, go to tuitions, eat, study at home, go to church and watch TV at home. Home, school, church, home. Everywhere I go, I had to make sure I text mom or dad to tell them my whereabouts and all. Or that my sister would accompany me to go to Bangsar or Dad to go down town with me. Whatt? Yeah, just to drop off an application I made or what not. Yess, I'm very well protected.
Now that I'm out here without my home friends and family, I've never been happier living independently dependent on God more.
Btw, when God says to take that risk, bet sure that He has equipped you already. Just like a father who asked his son to paint the house, little did the son know that of course that father would provide the ladder, paintbrush, paint and bucket for him.
Not sure when I get back next year (if I ever go back) that I still know how to drive a car. Like... move a vehicle.
"Go and leave everything behind, go to the land I called you to go,"
Woohoo ! Ridin' on an adventure that God says I can take part in it. Keeping up with the pace now from day to day.
:)
PS: My little brother says that he's proud of me... gahhahaha! Little bro. He knows. He sees the changes in me. Thanks Derrick ! You are awesome.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Apple Picking with friends
This is a short story of us at Honey Pot Hill, Stow MA earlier this morning.
We met Kris, Maye and Madelaine later at the farm.
 |
| It was so pretty. |
 |
| I've never eaten such sweet apples before. And lost track of how many have we eaten altogether at the farm. |
 |
| Apples on trees !! |
 |
| Aside from apples, pumpkins were on sales too because of Halloween. |
 |
| The store |
 |
| These... are delicious. |
 |
| They had animal farm for the little ones to get all excited :D |
 |
| My first autumn. :) |
 |
| The trail... I can't even... This... You gotta to be there :) |
 |
| 1,2,3, plucks ! |
SUch a fun outing.
:D
My Facebook has the complete photo album ;)
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