Need that one day

There are times when thoughts like "What the heck am I doing here?" come running into my mind.
Seeing some profiles of my accomplished film scoring friends has made me think about what am I going to do with my own journey, the rest of my time in Berklee, and to start planning ahead what's after Berklee.
By God's grace, I will get there- to the place I should be going.

There're so many things I wanna' do in life.
In Berklee, during my summer break and after graduation.
I don't really know what I want yet, but I really know what I don't want.
There're really, so many things I wanna' do in life.

One thing I really know right now, is that I'm happy with film music.
Whenever I listen to any film music, a part of me breaks away and suddenly I realize that I'm totally immersed with the sound and mood of it.
But the process of writing, creating film music and being one of the bests in the market is tough, especially for women to break into the industry dominated by many talented men. The competition is high, just like in any other field and business. It's a giant.

Holiday is coming. Looking forward for the thanksgiving holiday. Not to relax and do nothing. But to chill with God, seek Him, and talk to Him about life. I just need that one day. Who else can understand me better, except for my Creator, regarding all my fears, worries, doubts, and lots of other personal stuffs.
I need that day. This semester has been a hell lot of work, I barely have time to process my thoughts properly, digest informations from classes and immerse myself with film music.
Where did all my time go? It went into getting assignments done. And to distress, I cook.

In two months time, I'll be 21.

Like, entering into the (young) adult zone of real life working world, meeting up with real clients, directors and a whole new bunch of people- both good and sneaky. The pressure would be much much much higher, because we get paid to do something- and that work must be of quality ones.

Time to plan- in dept, in detail. And to listen more carefully about my directions from God.