Card game

I remember those days of playing Uno cards with my siblings and sometimes with some friends in school. WAIT! We are good students ;) We play cards only AFTER exams okie ehehe, and of course without the teacher's knowledge that we brought cards to class, and tell u, we were so pro in hiding the cards *smirks!

Come to think about it, I realized that I always hold my cards tightly and was very protective towards every cards. Like, I have different tactics to cover my cards and safeguard them so that others can't take a peep.

Well, today I felt that I need to surrender the cards of my life to Him, like really trusting Him to play the game. And those cards that I'm holding and safeguarding so tightly are my hopes, dreams, desires, relationships, ministry, fears, worries, character building yada yada etc. I have limited sight, and ONLY God knows what are the next step(s) to take, how to do it and what should I do.

If I continue to play my "Uno" game alone, thinking that I've got it all, and crack my head for the next move(s), I'll never make it.

It's so hard for me to trust someone, maybe because of the hurts and disappointment that I'm afraid of. Anyhow, this game requires some learning to trust, and it's ONLY in Him.

Try

Trying too hard on something shows that we do not allow Him to intervene in our situation. It's more like we're using our own strength to achieve something.

But, 'trying our best' and 'trying too hard' are two different things eh...

For when you have given your best, leave the rest in God's hand. In other words, do your best and let God do the rest. (Much too familiar phrase that sometimes we just let it pass thru)

Hmm.

Okie.

This morning

My new cajones arrived this morning! :D And it's in purple, unexpectedly :) Smells new, handmade by Esther's friend.

Purple Timoz :D

Okie, I'm so gonna create a small music corner soon! For the fun of it hee. And ahh, I kenot wait for my tomorrow's last-exam-of-the-year (practical) to end. And then I'm gonna clear my room and give it a new a paint and and do stuffs that I like this holiday! Read like I've never read before, cook and bake like I've never done before, Christmas shopping, watch some gigs with friends, and others which I can't think of right now.

"In your heart you plan your life. But the Lord decided where your steps will take you." Proverbs 16:9

I love to plan, I can plan all I want for my life, but not all the time planning is required. Sometimes, I just need to let loose a little and go with the flow yo.

And...

Not.to.FREEZE when I don't have a plan with me @.@

I gota glue my butt back to the piano chair now. Wait, I'm hungry for lunch nyahahaha :D

New toys

It was aweeeesome! The new Korg Kronos *slurps!

It was fun unwrapping it with Esther and Derrick, at least I got to 'gila' awhile with someone who was as excited as me :D

So many things happened at that moment- a few of us got electric shocked, a tiny insect went in in one of the F keys, figuring out how to plug in the weird plug etc.

After all the hoohaas, it finally functioned like a healthy keyboard, except for the occasional electric shocks. I haven't got the chance to really touch and play it coz' the two jokers and dad are so excited (me too!), busy trying out the effects. Mom was busy baking for tomorrow's function, but she came over for a few times to join in the hoohaas :D

I'm gonna spend some quality time with my new toy. I'm gonna get to know you inside out and make sure that I don't underuse you! :) This keyboard is also dedicated to the church :) and we laid hands and prayed for its service and the people who are going to play the Kronos. Sleeping late but not too late, church tomorrow!

Ooh, I got myself a new digital metronome because the earphones for my old digital ones spoilt, and some brand new headphones.

Heaaaapee giler!

Tough lah!

I felt like I have the resources, but I just don't know how to make full use of them.

All I just have is the five stones, enough to defeat the 'giant', but, how do I do it? (The David-Goliath story)

This, I don't know.

Dad said : " Only the things you can't do, God can do, cos' God will do the impossible. We can live supernaturally because we are the children of God. When you're weak, God is strong. If you can do it, then there's no need for God to help, and it becomes limited like you boxed God up in your small space,"

Okay, even if I don't get what I need, God will provide in another way. For now, I'll just do my best and let Him do the rest, just like how He always does. Looking back, God was always with me when I gave my best in something, He made them into something even better.

December will be a good time for me to discover what are my strengths and weak points, and brush up my techniques, and transcribe some songs- for a start, Bill Evans. I even plan to go for a trip for some inspirations to write some songs. I missed writing them.

Eeeeeeeek!

Life is a beautiful song that God is teaching us to play (today's Our Daily Bread).

:)

Jotta A.-Agnus Dei

I just got to post this!

Words used

A fact that I've just discovered about myself : I actually kinda enjoy writing!

I remember when I was 4-5 years old, dad bought me some exercise writing books with pictures and activities in them for me as a birthday gift, and that was I think the utmost best-appreciated birthday present ever for me! A weirdo kiddo who actually loves her books more than her toys.

These days, it's almost so hard to identify friends who still write the details and account of interesting happenings of their lives, using descriptive and proper words and language. I would lurve to read them.

Most of the times, when vulgarity are being expressed by someone I read somewhere really put me off. There are like a zillion other better words to use to describe what we're thinking and feeling rather than using the same plain lame cheap and crude words.

I guess it's good to be reminded of making sure that our words are encouraging and is able to build each other up. But in some cases, actions do speak louder than words.

PS: I still think that guys who can write well and still read these days are intelligent and impressive (to me :D). They are rare, but I'm sure they are somewhere.

Ambassador of Jesus

We don't compromise with the world's standard. We live with God's standard. As a faithful Christian, we must have an obedient heart, a heart that is able to discern what God's desires are, His calling and purpose for us to walk on this fallen Earth. It's not about us giving in to the world and please men.

We are created in His image. As ambassadors of Christ Jesus, our responsibility is to reflect Jesus in our lives, what we do, feel, think, say and act to people around us. Yes, we're not made perfect, but we can always ask Him for wisdom and guidance on how to do this and that.

Walking daily with Him is a must. We all have 24hours to manage. The more we relate and connect with Him, the more we'll be like Him, see things like Him, share the same passion and desires with Him.

It's never too late to repent if we've fallen out of His path. Our God is sovereign. His mercies are new every morning. Our God is a loving God.

:)

Choices

I'm flooded with decision-making everyday. We all do. So many choices to make in one day.

I need You Lord, Your wisdom to guide me in choosing the right options, to select what is right and good.

:/

Sam's Big Day

First thing first : Blog changed its blogging colour to blue, kinda 'arglee'.

Anyway, here are some photos taken on Sam's wedding hee.

It.was.lovely! It.was.fairytale.like!

PJ Gospel Centre

My sister (by the score stand) led the bride and daddy in by singing.

Solo hohoho!

Kids presentation :)

(above) and the sweet and radiant couple :)

Below are friends from Mentakab, we went to Sunday school together.

Mom's ex-colleague. Formerly a discipline teacher.

So.be.nice!

Heh heh

Centre is Cassie :) the bride's sister.

Shoo pweety

Okie this is the Passion Road. Beautiful place for an afternoon reception.

And I really liked the whole table musical theme (my group was Michael Learns To Rock haha)

with little handmade red baskets for everyone as souvenirs.

Love the details!

AND there were sweets corner for kids! Yeah, for KIDS :D

Those sweets where I grew up eating lots of them.

I went 'awwh!' over them for like 3 minutes.

Old time Candies teeheehee!

Apollo now has 3 sticks in it instead of four in those days.

Whaaaat?! Cheating!

And the red bear bubblegum had tattoos last time, it made me look cool B-)

But now it's just a blank wrapper.

One of my Sunday school teachers I met.

<3

Mom's ex-colleague with her all-grown-up-already daughter.

Sweet :)

Ahah! Beside me is Grace. All I remember was : In camp, I was so shy to make friends but then somehow we became friends and she lent me all her G2 Pilot coloured pens to write down Bible verses and notes.

Back then, Pilot pens are like THE most awesome pen to have.

Heh.

:D

Sis, Sam (in red) and me.

Really happy for her to have finally found her The One :)

I like how she was just being herself on her Big Day.

She's always looking naturally beautiful every time I see her.

And the final photo session :D

All in all, the wedding was fantabulous and everyone had a greeeat time together.

When can I relax

It's a tiring month for me. Exams after exams, and projects and assignments to do. I can't wait to get rid of all my projects by handing them in tomorrow- At 4.01pm, Wednesday, I'll be the happiest kid in town, ever! And then back to exams for the next week and next next week -.- Gaaah!

I've planned out what to do in December. Looks like, life is always on the fast track and I need.to.go.on.a.holiday (like seriously!). But I still have something big to prepare for next year @.@ of which I don't want to think about it right now, stressful lah #.#

Feeling Yaphne

I have this friend of mine who is really funny, comes out with all sort of funny sound and funny names like... Yaphne. Sooooo beautifully ugly I would say haha :D Her name is Angel Ooh by the way ;)

Anyway, I was having my QT with Jesus, and when I look to Him, like really really look to Him in prayers, all my problems seem to become so small. What was left important in my entire life wasn't the worries of life, it was just Him- Jesus. He is important.

Only You, who cares to know my needs.

Only You, who knows all my desires.

Only You, can love me for who I am.

Only You, can I forever trust and hold on to.

I wonder O Lord, what are your plans for me.

I wonder O Lord, what have You gotta' say to me.

I wonder O Lord, are You thinking of me right now?

I wonder O Lord, how much You love me??

:)

God just wants us to choose Him. He gave us a choice to make.He doesn't care so much about how good we are, what our strengths, abilities and skills can do, He just wants a love relationship with us, a fellowship with His child(ren). He wants us to spend time with Him, not with all the ritual stuffs that we do like how many times you fast and pray and all the flowery praising words. He just wants the heart, sincere and real, and talk to Him. Our God is soo big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God kenot do.

I look at myself- inadequate, imperfect, zero experience in music, frail and there's nothing to brag about myself. I am a nobody. But He loves me for who I am. And He created me for His very own reason. He has a plan for meeee. Walking everyday with Him sounds like the best.thing.ever to do to remain connected with Him, and to hear His heart's desire. Don't we all want to know what an awesome God like Him is thinking about us? And what is on His mind?

Because You are so good so good sooo good to me and my family, and faithful, and Your great infinity love, therefore, Yaphne chooses You ;)

There it goes, again.

Urhh.

Waterfalls

... are pweetty to look at. Alluring and tempting.

A nice sight to behold, externally.

But if I invest my feelings in it, thinking of jumping in, well,

I don't know what lies inside it. Its internal.

There's a current in it.

Sharp rocks. Who knows?

I can't help it for being short-sighted.

It's so hard...

This is something to remind myself- waterfalls, beautiful but dangerous.

Because of You

Only Your word remains faithful.

Only Your promise I can trust, and hope.

Because You are faithful, so then, I will be.

Cockroach buster

Way tha' go bruther!

For being a cockroach buster :D

That adorable little fella in his blue pyjamas squashed mr.cockroach that was charging towards me like nobody's business, with a all rolled-up newspaper of his.

Hi-yah! Hi-yah! HI-YAH!!

All he did was a little murmuring : "Oh he's upside down now,"

And then, using some toilet roll, he wiped off that half dead hard-shelled species, leaving the stain there for me to clean up.

Btw,

my brother's 10. And I'm 18.

I get goosebumps on cockroaches, and lizards.

It's alwayz You!

I don't know how, I don't know what to do, but God You'll provide.

Every time when I look at the hardships and challenges in front of me, ooohhsshh, they are REALLY big ones, and scary...! And then I thought to myself, "I'll never make it thru for this one, or this time," BUT I understand, by God's grace and strength, I can overcome it.

Remember this : "I can do al things thru' Christ who strengthens me," Philippians 4:13 a very famous comforting affirming verse.

All this, provided I walk closely, pray, read the Bible and seek Him everyday. Not just "Oh thank You for the day, yawns, grant me a good night sleep and sweet dreams, Amen!" (Yeapie I used to pray like that because I lacked the respect and my heart was somewhere else). Talk to God! Tell Him how I feel, what am I thinking, my worries, my fears, my day, my desires etc.

I need You to give me fresh new ideas and inspiration in my work. I desire the satisfaction of being able to release what I feel and what I think through the music that I produce that mesmerizes everyone who hears it. Yes, I can get really emotional teehee but really really I'm like seeeeriously-shy to show it out nyeheh.

I picked up the guitar, strummed a few simple chords and then all of a sudden it just came back to me. It means the passion. I lost it on the way. That is the worst thing a musician can ever loose a stuff like that.

I gota be daring to do something new! Think out of ze box. Be creative :)

Teeheeheeheeheeheehee!

I want my cendol

I can't believe it!

I still haven't tasted a single DROP of Aunty Koh's famous local cendol in Melacca!

Location : Klebang.

And today was my THIRD attempt of traveling all the way down to Melacca!

I heard that she 'perah' her own 'santan' and made her own 'gula Melaka'.

I shall drive down again this coming weekend! Or maybe the next one, because I have a wedding to attend. What a day trip! :)

I'll promise to reach there by 12pm the next round! Ohhhh yes I will! I'm marking my own words right now heh heh.

Anyway, lunch was really awesome. My aunt made us homemade 'nasi dagang' and 'lontong' and other local Malay delicacies. Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all my Malay friends and relatives :) We got lost for awhile in Melacca, can you imagine that?? In Melacca. For 2 hours.

Okie.

Still flabbergasted over the whole cendol thingy.

:P

THRID TIME MAN!

Realization

Jesus, Your Name is above all names!

Your name is higher than the heavens, higher than all created things, higher than my hopes, higher than my dreams.

When I call upon Your name, I find my safety.

When I look closely to God, ALL my problems, big and small grew smaller.

Think of the biggest thing you could even think of... Well, God is bigger than that thing you just thought of.

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what could stand against.

I thank You for the hardships I'm going through.

It made me realized that I was so comfortable sitting down, complacent and as if I do not need Your help. That's being lukewarm. That's a BIG NO NO!

There's so many things to pray for!

Anyway, it was a good session of singing my heart out to You with some play-along from Youtube.

:)

Pop Corn Reminder

He who began a good work in You will be faithful to complete it. He'll see you through and accomplish it.

For I have plans to prosper you, to give you hope and future, plans not to harm you.

My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts.

With me, you are safe.

In your weakness, I am strong.

These words and verses (above) just keep popping out like pop corns. I thought that " Okay God, You already have Chris Tomlin, Dan Macaulay and other faithful servants of Yours in the music ministry, I'm just a peanut or a bean sprout in a large field, how is that gonna' harvest huh??"

Then I read back my old notes from my journaling book, this song, which I'm still trying to figure out on youtube -.- :

You brought me this far, I know.

You'll lead me all the way home. And

Your faithfulness won't let me go.

God's never gonna let me go! He knows what He's doing.

Button pressed, again

God I trust that You'll make a way for me.

I have no idea what were You thinking when I decided to board on this 'boat' with you and what in the world am I doing what I'm doing.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow, now and forever, You'll always be the same.

You are honest and good, and Your ways are loving and faithful (Psalms 25:8 & 10).

The wrong button has been pressed again.

BUT I'll be faithful to You, coz You are.

Running away and be a quitter isn't a solution.

Switching my course to what I first wanted is just merely an excuse to escape.

Being the next Jonah isn't a good idea after all.

Even when I made mistakes, please don't remember them. Remember me because You love me. Lord, You are good (25:7).

Somebody please

Urghhh when are they gonna' go away? This flu and this awful feeling.

:(

Just felt like talking to someone who listens.

Everyone's just too busy.

If only

You don't really mean it, don't you?

If only the heart of yours is genuine and sincere for me.

Or, at least if I know it is.

***

This too, reminds me about my heart for God, whether am I genuine and sincere for Him. Not being luke warm, but being hot and not cold.