:')

What do I really like?
Sometimes I feel like I'm contradicting myself.
One moment I say that I love what I'm doing, the next thing I know, I've changed my mind.
I start off something well, but then later I got bored or lose the momentum and at the end of the day, I didn't finish that something.
(I think I've written this down before somewhere in my previous entry)
Is it because of humanity's wavering nature in me? (in us?)

I know what I'm supposed to do this holiday. It's not that I don't like doing it or what, it's just that I become so comfortable with myself, with the situation around me and I keep telling myself : Oh, it's okay, just enjoy the time being now, whatever that is happening now, that (things to do) will come later."
I also hate to waste my time on some crappy social network like FB, sometimes I couldn't help it.

I'd love to soak myself reading some really good books.
Read some friend's blog who writes really well.
Spend more time in listening and analyzing good music.
Practice on the piano. (Practice what? But I know that I need to walk my fingers on the piano as often as possible)
And sitting down in quietness, watching people going about in their lives and what they do. Sometimes, it can also be inspiring. Life is interesting, don't you think so? Or at least, try to make it one.

What happened to the Daphne who likes to daydream, is organized with her thoughts, knows what she wants, reflects and ponder over her life with God, and is a proactive person? I remember that I like to write (although I'm not really good at it, I don't read enough), cook and bake, smile at myself whenever I see something beautiful, and roll the fingers on the piano, it feels really good. But now all these things seem to be vague as if they were yesterday's dreams, all washed down into a dark space. They seem no longer attached to my heart anymore.

Did I try too hard and have become someone I'm not? Did I change for others? Oh goodness, I hope I'm still the me Me. Even if I have changed, a little, or more, it's a change for the better I hope.