Kary Jobe _ you are for me (lyrics)

Am playing and singing (just back up, I hope I can :) ) this song in church tomorrow.
I hope I won't cry nose filled with mucus while worshipping on stage hehe.
:)

My love relationship

Am counting all my blessings.

To me, what matters most is to only please Him.
How can I not be contented and grateful enough for all He has done, provided, redeemed and sacrificed for me? How can I sometimes complain about my discontentment?

Am counting all my blessings.

So many good stuffs from Him.
I know that even when I'm at my lowest ebb, or so alone in this world, worried and afraid, He- my Jesus- will look out for me, love me, be my best friend, be with me in my crappy and happy moments, my ups and downs, put up with all my craps and at the end of the day still stand by me and pick me up, protect me from my enemies, remind me, warn me, and oh my goodness, the "look out for me" already means SO MUCH to me.

"Trust in the Lord your God. Do not depend on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all ways and He will make straight your path."

Why turn to others for help when He is the best person to look for? And He has all the best solution. He is 24/7 available for me, for everyone else to contact Him because of what He did on the cross, so that we can have a direct contact connection with Him.

To tell Him all my secrets. To tell Him all my frustrations, worries, fears and feelings I'm going through. To ask Him for help when I don't know what to do and how.

If only everyone knows what a privilege it is to be a friend of God- Jesus.
I too, am trying to constantly remind myself of who He is, what He has done for me, what kind of great love He has for me that my human mind can never understand.

Obedience to Him is so dear and important. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Even partial obedience is disobedience.

If there is one thing that I'm asked to give up, it's never about this relationship I have with Jesus.
It's costly.

I trust Him, I trust in Him, I hope in Him because He never fails. He never stops loving me too.
I'm in love with my Precious!

Best Holiday

I am really refreshed by this holiday.
School is starting soon in about a week more.
I don't have my time table because I didn't pay up some e-learner's fees rm700 per sem just to check a one time result and your time table. I think it's quite ridiculous. Plus, I don't really use the online library.

When school starts, it'll be my final sem in ICOM. Man... time is really precious.
I have almost a year more left in Malaysia- to be with my family, to be with my friends, to learn how to cook :P, to be independent, to learn what God wants me to do in Berklee, to serve in church and to enjoy the Nasi Lemak Laksa Roti Canai Teh Tarik Maggi Goreng Ayam Goreng Berempah Char Kuey Tiaw Ayam Masak Merah Satay Char Siew Pao Kolo Mee Pan Mee Omgeeeeee! Etc etc etc.

Yesh yesh, I'm really gonna miss all these and I haven't left for Berklee yet!

What I like about this holiday?
I auto wake up at 8.30am, sometimes fetch my sis for work. Go out for breakfast with my dad, sometimes eat cakes and bread at home. Read a book and ODJ, spend my QT. Turn on my laptop and keyboard. Transcribe some songs, learn some songs. Check out Berklee's Major, roughly know what major I'm gonna choose but still keeping it in prayers. FB a little, Twit a bit, Blog sometimes. Do some housework- put the clothes into the washing machine, sweep the floor, arrange some stuffs, and wash some cups and plates. Then lunch with bro and mom after they come home from school. Rest and talk. Cook dinner or go out for dinner somewhere nice. Esther comes home and I don't feel like doing anything else but to just taltklktatkltkaltktalkttalk with her :D and then jam. Then go to bed.
If I feel lazy, I'll turn on the TV or watch some movies from my hard disk hehe.

Time ticks away so slowly and I'm lovin' it :)

PS : I hate it when people rush me to wake up, to pick my clothes, when I'm shopping, when I'm working on something, JUST. DO. NOT. rush me okay! I can get kinda mang zang :/

So... what now?
Keyboard time :D

A Family Affair

Today's my cousin's wedding.
I met half of my relatives today.
Will create my first photo album on FB soon woohoo! (Yeahh... first. Hehe. Not really keen in publicizing photos on the webpage)
Why half?
Some having exams, some in overseas, some went for camping trip, some... just somewhere :)

My dad has 14 bruthers and sisters. Some of my cousins are already married, with kids, and some are my cousin's kids have kids! It's complicated.

During the tea ceremony, the uncles and aunties should really wear some tags on them eg. Uncle 1, Uncle 5, Aunty 6, Aunty 7, Uncle 13 etc. We get this problem every time when it comes to CNY, Christmas, Weddings, Birthdays and Gatherings. LOL.

It's a hugee family I grew up with.
Good times we had tonight.
Pictures on FB soon.
Ohhhh yeahh, my 2 nephews and 1 nephew's kid are sim-pa-lee handsome looking boys!
I'm not a huge fan of Koreans boi, but this small fella, you've got to meet him, is one good looking boi :D Pictures sometimes don't describe well. Another one has chubby cheeks and the other has a mixed look which I think when he grows up bigger enough, many girls will go head over heels gagaga over him.

Teehee!
Okie just thought of uploading some here. Too sleepy to upload more.
Nites! Have a good week ahead peeps!

Our table: Garden style Wedding Dinner at The Mines

Dad and Mum

Angeline and I at the Tea Ceremony this morning

Keluarga saya ;)

Teehee!

Emily and Charlie Perform 'Break Again'

Charlie Puth and Emily Luther. Way tha' go! :D

I Love You

This heart is so fragile.
I Love You, more everyday.

Investment

Invest all your love, your time, your focus, your strength, your energy, your effort, and your hope in Jesus alone, and they will all never go to waste, because God is alone perfect. He will take good care of you. He knows how to take care of you.

Even if we think God has disappointed us, God knows best. He has a better plan.
His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts.

Conqueror

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

:')


I'll be a conqueror this time because God is great in battle.

Old Restaurant Found

We (family) found our old restaurant. It is famous for their boxing chicken. Yesh yesh, the chicken boxes you when you eat because it is half cooked.

...

Nah, I'm just kidding.

Apparently, I just found out that it is the restaurant my family used to always eat when we girls (me and Esther) were little kids- wore the same shirt; she looking nice and pretty, me looking bler and lost. And the tauke niang recognises us, saying : "Waa, dai gor lui lo...(Waa, big girls)" Really? She remembers us? Or she always say this to all her customers.

They closed the restaurant for 2 years. Originated from Brickfields. Recently, it has started operating again, now in Taman Seputeh. 2 months old je. This was what my mum told me: 4 of its workers died. We don't know what was the reason.

Happy to have found this restaurant again. The only thing that have changed, and it is ze most important change is... the cook.
Yeeeeeap. Definitely. Different taste and style. We all can tell it.

Shopped

I wanted to buy some nice tops. Ended up, I bought lots of dresses, 3 pairs of jeans and another pair of heels.
Gaaahh! Focus off again.

Thank You

Thanks for reminding me of who You are, of who I am, and the visions and words You have given me- I'll hold on to them till I see You face to face.

Holiday like never before

This holiday is a good break for me. I get to read some really good books, spend time with my family, rest, sleep, clean my room, eat good food, watch movies, shopped, and take my time to do the things I wanna do. I just wanted to get away from all the rush, work (for money) and the insane jam in KL. Time ticks away slowly and I love it.

I never had this one like it before. All these while I've always been on the go, running and rushing to do many things in life- most of them, pointless ones, and the goal for those things became self-centered and for fun- and those purpose became the I, Me, Mine, My goal, My dreams, My future, what I want to do with My life, what I want etc.

I've been reading on the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. To discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significant and our destiny is to know God. Without God , life has no purpose, and without purpose, life has no meaning. Without meaning, life has no significant or hope.

It's already 1 and a half years.
In ICOM.
Studying Music.
Studying what I've always dream of since young.
Next year I'll be transferring to Berklee. It's gonna be a challenge for me!
Better know what God wants. Better stay close to Him.
Gotta stay grounded with Him and His Word.
Then, I shall not waver anymore and know my stand because of my relationship with Him.

Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you. Matt 6:33

All Things are Possible

I hope it's not too late.

To...
Seek seek His will for me.
Love Him wholeheartedly again.
Trust Him completely even when it don't make sense.
Know Him as my Creator.
Understand why am I here for.
Give all glory to Him and His kingdom with my life.
To put on my best attitude for Him.
To be a better daughter to both my earthly parents and heavenly Father.
To do my best, give my best with all I have.
To use the talents, gifts and skills He entrusted me to serve others.
To love others because He first love me. I'm dearly loved by Him. The greatest love He has ever shown to me is through His suffering and death on the cross. He overcame the grave to find my soul.
Lean on His wisdom; search for it, His wisdom, like precious treasure.
Run to Him for safety and shelter. God is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, my horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
To pursue after you and
To live up to your values and standards and not of this earth's.
To refocus on the things needed to focus, before it all becomes too late.

All things are possible. God can fix things when we allow Him to do so. Believe and receive.
"Believe God loves you and made you for His purpose. Believe you were made to last forever. Believe God has chosen you to have a relationship with Jesus, who died on the cross for all of us. Believe that no matter what you've done, God wants to forgive you. Receive Jesus into your life as Lord and Saviour. Receive His forgiveness for your sins. Receive His spirit, who will give you the power to fulfill your life purpose." Rick Warren.

I'm fearfully and wonderfully made by God, crafted and designed in detail for His work.
Why You so amazing wan?? :)

Priceless moments

So. My Singaporean family is down again to KL. Whenever this gang is around, food is always around too. Not that my parents don't feed me hehe. But we'll have more food ;)

If you have a chance to meet them, especially Claire, Dillon and my bruther Derrick, you'll surely be very entertained by the three musketeers :D

We went out for dinner with 2 cars. Apparently, after dinner, we forgotten to take the house key from dad. Esther and I drove the musketeers back home. Reached home, and we sat under the sky, blasting the music so loudly from the white Myvi. It was very hilarious watching the trio dancing the Butt-Dance and some 100% Chicken Dance. Watch the clip below LOL.

If you have time, watch the Learn ABC ones too I lol-ed.

Should have captured and recorded their dancing. It was priceless! :)

So many funny things they have said, so many funny things they did, so many funny things they made us laugh.

Ohh, almost forgot to mention. Esther found the house key inside the dashboard. Everyone went :

---------______--------"""""

Anyway, I'm stuffed with food. Oh, happy day!

:D

A thought to think

I always think that "We must get into the world to experience ungodly situations and ungodly people in order to grow stronger." Or, at least to experience it and then be able to help others by telling them how God delivered me bla bla.

It's a deception.

And my dad quickly show me this article from ODB. Below is the link.

The Best Teacher

If I didn't realize it now, this wrong thinking can swallow me up in no time. In the long term, it's not gonna be fruitful and healthy.

I do NOT want my heart to lead me away from God.

The best training, guidance and advice to get from is from God's Word and those who know it and love it, not experiences.

I'm still praying for the those in my life.

It's best to also have ourselves surround with friends of the same faith to uphold each other, encourage and remind each other the Word, of who we are and who Jesus is.

I wonder why sometimes it takes so long for that one prayer item to be answered.

I'll hope.

I'll wait.

I'll trust.

***

This short clip below reminds me to carry the cross well. No short cuts. No bluffing ourselves on God's value. No compromising with the world's standard.

Intrigued

Spending time on Youtube vids and some songs in my iTunes, I'm intrigued by how those fellow pianists could think so fast on the spot, creating creative rhythm and monstrous melody on the piano. My ears got excited! I like the swift movements of fingers on the piano and all the funky and unique style each musician possesses.

Jazz music. I'm getting more curious about you!

I hope to reap something out during this holiday :)

New place

'Here I Pen Down' is another place for me to write what I see, think and feel and, of course, in proper language without the "lah"s,"hehe"s and "teehee"s. They are still my insights, opinions, thoughts and ideas. I just wanna expand my writing.

It's still under "construction" hehe. I need some time to add in words and pictures to describe myself and the blog. Nah, here's the link : Here I Pen Down

So. Live. Laugh. Learn. Love. is a super carefree and rilek blog to read :D

Enjoy!

Waver no more

The fear of the unknown worries me. What will happen to me in future? Will I have enough to support myself financially? A musician don't earn much unless you can find good jobs with good pay and have built a massive empire of contacts with other musicians because of your good PR skills.

Feeling outnumbered and seeing how people have so much more influence than me, I become unstable and afraid. The urge of giving up started to wrap me up like a poison python.

However, God says that there is power in the faith of God ( Pastor Raymond Mooi- Faith that works, work that faith ). Faith in God is important. It is essential in Christian living. When we exercise faith in our lives, we will obtain outstanding testimonies like the heros in the Bible. Check out Hebrews 11, thumbs out to the heros because of their faith. We can, and we're no different than the Old Testament saints when we are willing to believe.

To activate our faith, we must believe that God

• exists
• is who He says He is in the Word of God
• did all the things as recorded in the Bible.
• rewards you
• answers your prayers
• will come through

Without faith, nothing will change. Remember the 'walk by faith and not by sight'? Yes, it must become our lifestyle. 'Walk'- manner of living.

There's so much that I've learnt in this book. It's not very difficult to read. I remember that I wavered a lot in my decisions and started doubting myself as a musician- Will I make it? Will I live a comfortable life? Will I succeed in carrying out the will of God in my life?

"When the devil attacks you with fiery darts, they are intended to shake you. They are used to displace you and cause you to move away from the covering of God. Fiery darts of the devil are designed to destroy." ... "Scripture declares that if a person wavers he is like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed (James 1 :6-7). Just like a small boat on the sea, waves of unbelief strike you, making you rock back and forth while the gale of doubts causes you to lurch forward and back."... "Put on the armor of God. Above all, take up the shield of faith."

Believe, or you will receive nothing from God. There is already a faith that God has put inside of us, a faith that is world-overcoming and it's no small thing. It's not weak nor is it powerless. I gota be strong in the faith that God has given me and do. not. waver.

:')

What do I really like?
Sometimes I feel like I'm contradicting myself.
One moment I say that I love what I'm doing, the next thing I know, I've changed my mind.
I start off something well, but then later I got bored or lose the momentum and at the end of the day, I didn't finish that something.
(I think I've written this down before somewhere in my previous entry)
Is it because of humanity's wavering nature in me? (in us?)

I know what I'm supposed to do this holiday. It's not that I don't like doing it or what, it's just that I become so comfortable with myself, with the situation around me and I keep telling myself : Oh, it's okay, just enjoy the time being now, whatever that is happening now, that (things to do) will come later."
I also hate to waste my time on some crappy social network like FB, sometimes I couldn't help it.

I'd love to soak myself reading some really good books.
Read some friend's blog who writes really well.
Spend more time in listening and analyzing good music.
Practice on the piano. (Practice what? But I know that I need to walk my fingers on the piano as often as possible)
And sitting down in quietness, watching people going about in their lives and what they do. Sometimes, it can also be inspiring. Life is interesting, don't you think so? Or at least, try to make it one.

What happened to the Daphne who likes to daydream, is organized with her thoughts, knows what she wants, reflects and ponder over her life with God, and is a proactive person? I remember that I like to write (although I'm not really good at it, I don't read enough), cook and bake, smile at myself whenever I see something beautiful, and roll the fingers on the piano, it feels really good. But now all these things seem to be vague as if they were yesterday's dreams, all washed down into a dark space. They seem no longer attached to my heart anymore.

Did I try too hard and have become someone I'm not? Did I change for others? Oh goodness, I hope I'm still the me Me. Even if I have changed, a little, or more, it's a change for the better I hope.

Sports rock!

I had a good badminton game today with a bunch of coolies from church.
It felt so refreshing after that and we plan to make it a weekly "exercise" thing, since everyone needs some fun exercise :D

I'm gona buy a good racquet, a pair of really good sport shoes, and some new sports attire. This shows that I don't really exercise and I wanna make it a point to AT LEAST... play a ball game ehehe. A shuttlecock is a ball WITH some feathers stuck on it :P

In any camps, captain ball is always one of my favourite ball games. There was once we played in the pool and it was awezome, although the movement is kinda of restricted.

I remember the good times I had with a couple of friends playing volleyball until our hands grew bloody red with sweat dripping down our faces. Also, another bunch of friends who played frisbee in park and beach.

Actually, I think I kinda like sports!

Now I really wonder why mommy never push me into any sports. I got myself involved in a badminton tournament in primary school but gave up because I lost to a champion. I joined my primary school's EVERY sports day audition to get into the r.e.a.l. sports day day to win points for my house, and yesh I did won some points too hehe- high jump, long jump, running, and throw a heavy bullet called "lontar peluru". Never thought I actually did those stuffs! I went for swimming lessons and the best part is that I won a silver and a bronze medal in some swimming competition BECAUSE there was only 3 participants *flashes teeth.

I guess it's also the company that I hang out with that made the game fun :)

*I ain't wana be the soft skinny type of girls with the oh-so-fair and flawless skin and two thin legs the wind could almost blow it off. Sports rock to me :D

Must

Mustn't give up!
Must push on.

Mustn't compare with.
Must be contented.

Mustn't complain.
Must be diligent.

Must'n waste time on FB.
Must listen to songs.
Must practice.
Must try it on the piano.
Must keep myself inspired.
Must go on.
Must be krazee craving for durians now.
Must ask daddy to get them tomorrow.

Straight

Life can be just like that straight line on the graph sometimes.

Stagnant.

Too contented, complacent and comfortable.

Aimless.

Lazy.

Lost of momentum.
Lost of passion.
Doing it for the sake of doing it.
Perhaps, the start of a new phase of life.

Just need to find the small spot to push it up again.

This is where encouragement and inspiration work best at someone.

*I think John Mayer's songs are kicking me in man hehe.