Thinking

I'm thinking... Just thinking.

Baaaa. Jumble of emotions again.

At a point

As I drove home along the highways and wide roads that lead to my home, I can't stop admiring the beautifully dimmed sun hanging high up on the light-tainted sky. Plus, I was playing one of Hillsong's old album cds in my car, singing God is faithful, His name higher than hopes and dreams etc. I felt my heart enlighten today :)

His creations are simply amazing, breath taking, if only we just take time to pause and ponder over these little things that seem to be the common. If the created things are awesome, what more is the Creator?

We don't need to go all the way to Switzerland or Finland or Ireland (omgosh my dream place !!) or whatever land to be amazed at their greenery, Malaysia too is really a beautiful country laahh, a sight to behold!

I guess after spending much time in prayers with my family and this morning, I got some words from Him, like finallyyy! (leaps for joy) And of coarse my family was there to confirm them. It was a time of refreshing :) Not only me, but for all of us. Prayers can make changes. It is also more encouraging when we pray as a group, especially with our family.

(untitled)

I was just throwing away some old stuffs from a cupboard upstairs. At this age, those stuffs have outgrown me. While I was disposing them, all my sentimental emotions swept across my head. Throwing away things because that they don't contain anymore value. For me, it's just a waste of space heehee :P

I kept stuffs like my first Barbie doll from JingYing (Mentakab), first fish statue I bought when I was a kid in Pangkor or Setiawan wherever that place is, souvenirs from friends from different countries, and little little stuffs boys I liked who gave me LOL just for the fun of it.

I threw away loads of teddy bears. I think they just sit there and collect dusts, take away spaces, and definitely a waste of money. Think by now my close friends already knew this 'ungirly' factor about me of not liking teddy bears nyeheh.

And then I realized, the clothes were still hanging outside I forgotten to take them in, and it's already 8.15pm! Baaaaaah, I hope the neighbours didn't laugh at me :P

I wanna' be a reflector

Today was my first time sitting in in a Bahasa service. Also, my first time in a SIB church in Puchong. The people there were so friendly and warm. After service, they even celebrated and prepared a birthday cake for the August/September babies. How sweet! :)

It's a new church. Though the songs and the flow wasn't perfect, but I could see the hearts that they have for Jesus. That just reminded me something of my past. However, I made up my mind to look to new things and not of the past, just like Paul who said it in Philippians 3:13-14, "... forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"

Anyway, today's sermon was in Bahasa.

Dalam injil Markus 14:3-9, (dalam bahasa saya) kita sepatutnya memberi atau membuat sesuatu yang terbaik untuk Yesus seperti wanita yang mengurapi kepala Yesus dengan salap mahal dari kelalang Alabaster (or buli-buli : jar). Heh.

It was a good reminder. For me, it's about giving my best service to Him, in everything that I do, feel, think and say, and to strive to be good at with what I'm doing now for Him. It also helped me to realign my fokus terhadap Yesus dalam apa-apa pekerjaan yang saya buat. Fokus ini juga dapatlah memberi sumbangan kepada kerajaan Kristus.

I remembered how I dragged myself to Bahasa class in the early mornings in school. But now, I missed it alot. It's my national language and somehow, I love it no matter what, and I'm proud to say this. Also, I believe that it is the minorities, the ones who will farm the mushrooms and make an impact to them :)

An old tune just came across my mind :

I wanna' be a reflector, shine Your light little brighter, I wanna' let the whole world know that Jesus LIVES IN ME! :)

It's all about the heart. After all that He has done for me and you, what kind of heart do we have for Jesus?

I'm a foodie!

I think I should start exercising soon. Yawns. But kinda lazy lah.

Been eating loads of good food recently. Sushi Zanmai, nasi lemak ayam masak merah tambah telur goreng outside my high school (superb ones really!), homemade sushi by mom, Delicious, Pappa Rich, Betty's Midwest Kitchen (some american food), Levain, really goooood desserts etc. so banyak that I can't recall them.

MCDONALD'S IS DEFINITELY NOT IN MY LIST OF GOOD FOOD. NEVER! :P

Anyway, today's dinner was on me! I brought my family to this place, Lorong Rahim Kajai 13 in TTDI (Taman Tun Dr.Ismail) called Surisit, the Thai Kopitiam. Not exactly a kopitiam, it's more like a naise, dinner place without a decoration?? Kopitiam these days try to keep up with the old fashioned walls and lightings, bare ceiling type, in a way it does save costs too lol. Simply say, it's a restaurant :) Mom found this Thai Cuisine restaurant on The Stars today. Speaking about newspapers, I realized it's been almost a week I haven't been reading any of them :(

Dad couldn't have a say in footing the bill coz' I finallyyy have the rights to do so hee. I got my first pay from my first gig :) That is, of coarse after giving 10% of it to His church.

Okie! Besides food, I have some new resolutions : transcribe any 3 songs that I like a day, and get doooown to serious business with jazz! I really mean it. I laik jazz and thought of giving it all out, starting from nao! Funk, fusion, smooth jazz, bossa nova, swing etc.

Btw, while I was having my awesome possum dinner today (ohhh the omelette, fried beef with their own sweet spicy sauce recipe, seafood tomyam and banana salad were REALLY good, home cooked style), I had this bossa nova beat in me playing Chega De Saudade coz I was so happy with my food ;)

Nyeheh!

Music nerdddd.

Didn't take some pictures, as usual, was too hungry food got gobbled up really fast. :D

A Friend so amazing

Even when I'm excited, glad, disappointed, angwee, fuming like mad, tired, sleepy, embarrassed or emotionless, Someone is always watching over me, ready and waiting for me to talk to Him even when I didn't take notice of Him. Someone will still put up with all my attitudes, mood swings and randomness because He simply just loves me for who I am.

Not because of how good I am or not or what I can do for Him. It's because I'm one of His precious little ones. He simply just loves me for who I am.

A loyal and sincere Friend I can never completely understand. All I know is that He really, really cares for my being. His love so wide, so deep, so great- that is all I need right now :)

Lord, I'm amazed by You,

Lord, I'm amazed by You,

Lord, I'm amazed by You,

And How You love me.

Peed books ew!

While I was at the train today, I eavesdropped some random Chinese boys from Zhun Kong High School. Actually, I wasn't eavesdropping, they were talking rather loudly in Mandarin so that everyone in the train could hear them.

Boy A said something like this in Mandarin (Direct Translation): "Today I in the toilet peed and my books fell on the floor leh," Boy B replied: "Really ah?? Got touched on the pee mah??" Boy A:"I used some water to wash them away already," Boy B:" I think you need to replace the library books!"

Moral of the story is :

Library books cannot be trusted because they are not hygienic. For book 'smellers', DON'T SMELL! For I-like-to-touch-smooth-pages readers, DON'T TOUCH! For put-books-on-face-and-sleep people, DON'T EVER DO THAT!!

You might not know what the previous people who borrowed the books did to the books ;)

It's kinda gross I know, but just to be aware of stuff like this. Hee hee!

At home and out

Sorting out wardrobe with my sister. I knew this day would come once she's back from UK for good, and it's todaeee!

Gonna' wear some old school jeans to college soon :D

Oooooold skooool~

Quite sayang wanna' throw away some branded clothes :(

Playing frisbee at 5.30pm today. Tomorrow's gonna be another packed day: breakfast with my good old church friends, go climb a rock in the afternoon (rock climbing) with college mates, raya dinner at 8pm with my high school mates :D Sunday? Church and film shooting teehee!

I forgotten about my homework! :O will find time to do it soon nyek nyek :)

Jig saw puzzles

I think I've sort of figured things out, where my jig saw puzzles seem to slowly fit in. You know when you're fixing a jig saw puzzle, you go through a trial-and-error period. Frustrating, at first, when you can't match them. But once they fit in well, you go amazed and in awed with the breath-taking picture right in front of you.

I'm talking about what-am-i-suppose-to-do-with-music thing here. My trial and error moment was to do film scoring. Then to teaching, writing songs, and production. Not so much of performing because I think that it's pride inviting to me. I'm not saying that performing is bad. It may be good to others who know their stand and what they're doing. I guess I'm much more comfortable without having spotlights on me on stage playing the piano.

I'd like to produce something, like a story or a play, skits with meanings behind. And write some songs :) I've been exposed to so-call acting since young and realizing that I like it so so much, I think I'd like to go in to the production line. Arts and theatre would be definitely a yes YES! :D

Tempting. But it's not all about me. It's about what God wants me to do. I just have to wait on God, obey Him. Then I'll be alright. It's not what I feel good about it. Feelings are temporary. I am at the preparatory stage. Will just need confirmations and the right timing from God through faith and prayers :)

Lastly, I remembered a peaceful voice coming from within my inner heart, telling me "Trust Me, in everything that you do," in one of my quiet times days ago. It's exciting embarking this journey with my precious One :)

Something to blog about

I just watched Bersih 2.0! I mean, Nasi Lemak 2.0! Kept mixing up these two things subconsciously -.-

Went with my sister to the nearest mall and grabbed two seats. It was... hilarious and lame, the typical Malaysia scene lah heh heh.

And then I got a phone call from StarHome Media, a modeling company, but I was told to shoot a drama. The requirements? Black natural hair. Okie, and I sorta dragged my sister along too :P It's a small part, but I'm glad that my friend got me this opportunity. I'm so proud of her, at my age, modeling and designing, doing things that she loves :)

I always love acting! Since young, story telling competitions, poem reciting competitions, Sunday School drama and skits, choral speaking etc. were my favourite part (it has to do with some imagination and acting too as well i think heh). And and, my best secondary school years part was drama competitions which I always reminisce the good ol' times :) and proud of my team's achievements :)

Ah, we'll see how it goes! Just being excited doing something I laik ;)

Love letters

Dear Sibelius 6,

Why is it so hard to know you?? You're too mysterious that I simply just give up knowing you. I talked to you, but you don't respond; I shouted at you, still no respond. Great. So, I don't see the point of crying my eyeballs out to you. Sorry okie.

We never seem to have a good laughing conversation with each other before. Troublesome lah you at times. But I still gota' love you anyway for who you are.

Or else, I cannot go for my arranging class tomorrow at 4pm.

Sincerely and lotsa' painful love from,

Dafernie Weeeee.

(untitled)

Triplets on arpeggios #.#

I used to get it right, but now my brain occasionally gets confused from quaver to triplets.

This thingy is one of my Wednesday exams.

After this week, I'm gonna SHOP!! and EAT! and drive my sister out! (to do the same thing) :D

My sister is my gps. And I need her to direct me how to park my myvi :/

Heh heh.

Freakin' parking skills I still gota learn man, aiks!

JESUS is LOVE

My heart belongs to Jesus. I've found my love, passion and security in Jesus. It's not all about the music or the missions and ministries. It's just Jesus. He is the LOVE. And my heart shall be filled with gladness and joy as a musician for Christ.

This also means that I'll stop worrying about whether am I good or not good enough being a pianist in the music scene. I believe that when He calls me here with His very own designed purpose, He'll see me thru' the seasons then. About relationships, I don't want to be single-for-life and I trust that You have a good plan in this :D

God gives the best!

Teehee!

Back from camp and here's the story!

Once upon a time...

In the merry month of March, I signed up for the Plan 11! Teehee!

Me and my sistah, Esther, we went for the camp. Me not having any expectations about it but to go with an open heart. Guess what? My heart goes out for all the missionaries for Christ. I feel that it's one of the greatest callings to be a missionary. The world perceives this ministry or 'career' choice as foolish ones, especially graduates and working men who are earning moneys and reputations, they simply just lay down their lives for the work of Jesus. They've come to a point that money, fame and worldly empty pleasures are not the true purpose of living a one-time life on earth. It is all about winning souls to God's kingdom. That is, I believe, every believers's mission. We are created in the image of God, to pray, worship and share about Jesus Christ the way, the truth and the life to the unreached people.

It really made me think and ponder again over what am I living for and who am I living for. I always sing praise and worship songs ti God, but do I really mean it? Giving up my life to Him? Giving up my desires to Him and let Him be a my navigator?

I think what I've learnt from the Plan 11 is that God just wants my love, passion and obedience for Him in my life and music. Not so much on worrying about "what's my calling?' and 'what's my next step, oh my God?'.

Also, He says that I should "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I (God) will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ." Philippians 4:4-7

I had a good time at camp. The food, friends and fei-lo-ship and interesting workshops and and and frisbee-on-beach game were awesome possum! :D Above all, I think that this camp has really pushed me to be discipline when praying to God, as in like I give my total focus to Him and not get distracted with other stuffs.

Man, I think I gained weight from this camp. Shucks. But I think it'll be fine once I start walking to college (again :S) tomorrow from the train station. This week's exam week. Once again, God I need your strength, wisdom and emotions in all my tests :D