Sulk no more

Looks like God has already prepared me for this outcome. I'm so thankful that I wasn't involved in any of it. I won't want to be a ding dong like you.

God knows best who is it and when is the moment going to take place. Everything I need is You (Jesus!), my beginning and my forever.

I know lah I'm writing something that some of you don't get it :P but for you who already knew it, please keep me in your prayers :)

Sulk no more, suck it up! I'm totally fine :) I just need to depend on God for everything.

Overwhelmed!

okookokokokokkkkkkk! I have something exciting to write today :D

I was disturbed since last week. Restless, I would say. My shoulders were stiff, I was tired, and my church's invited pastor prayed for me. Yes, he prayed for healing for my stiff shoulders, good blood circulation, spirit of heaviness and fatigue to leave me. But I didn't tell him about my restlessness. Yet, he prayed that I need to cast all my anxiety to God and let Him take care of them because I alone cannot do it by my own strength.

***

Lying down on my bed that night, preparing to sleep, I prayed. I wasn't in a praying mood because I was still restless. My mind kept playing back events from school, my past and reminding me of things not done yet- all these nonsense made me restless. And then, God's peace just fell upon me! My heartbeat rate went down, I could feel warmth on my cheek. God just touched my heart.

***

In the train on my way back home today, tired. I laid my head against the wall and then "Pop!". God touched my heart again. "I want you to depend on me." The truth is, besides unsettled schoolworks and applying new techniques onto my piano, I was somewhat worried about relationship stuffs. What if I was too proud? What if my expectations are too high? What if I just missed out the right guy God has planned for me because of my ego? Or because I was too shy or too scared to get involved in a relationship? What if I 'price drop' too much? (Sorry, google translate gave me a VERY direct translation of 'tarik harga' hehe.)

"I want you to depend on me!"

God's answer gave me a clear guidance. I remembered praying to Him "God, if this is not the right person for me, please take away the feelings from each other, because I don't want to waste my time, effort and energy, or ride on an emotional roller-coster, and please let me know whether the outcome is godly in Your eyes." Also, I was put to test too that if I'm involved in the like-you cycle, I tend to depend on that person more than God. That's why God didn't want me to depend on that guy for spiritual growth, instead depend on God for that.

I guessed I'm just hungry and thirsty for God. After the church-spliting incident and the whole starting-out-a-new-church process, I was traumatized. Sometimes I just feel so fed up! Lots of effort needed to be put in to rebuild a church and yeah the devil is not gonna stop working messing things up.

First His peace, then His gentle instruction. I'm grateful and overwhelmed that God still cares and speaks to me just the very right timing even when I became neutral in my walk with Him. Well yeah, I boldly say that my God is real and He is in control of everything. Ok practice time, bye!

He's With Me

My college is just too happening. Once you've missed one day of it, you missed out 1/4 of your life as an ICOM student. Sometimes the happening events could be just so shocking, emo, frightening, disappointing, breath-taking ones, angry, blur, worrying, relationship-in-and-outs, half-hanging stories, wondering stories etc.

And sometimes I'm just too caught up in the middle of this wilderness, got distracted and lacked focus. But there is always a very special and dear Friend by my side. When I feel lonely, He's there to accompany me; When I feel like bursting into tears, He's there to make things go alright; When I feel pathetic and not good enough, He's there to lift up my hopes and confidence; When I'm overjoyed about something and took no notice of Him, He's still there smiling at me. He is there no matter what's happening, and will always be with me.

It's funny to have a 102% loyal friend with me, even when I know that I can't give such commitment to Him. But I pray everyday that I'll learn what is it like to love and respect Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and spirit.

Forever God is faithful, forever God is strong, forever God is with us, forever...

Aha! Something to say

I had a relaxing week this week, and enjoyed my school's (ICOM) tribute to Disney! They were fantastic :) Brought along my two good secondary friends to watch tribute in KLPAC and we had a good time. It felt like we were in secondary school, again :D

College was in pin-drop silent mode, spooky. But everything's gonna get back to normal, tomorrow! That means, I'll have to change to gear 3 to start my assignments and practice, practice, practice and final EXAMS! hwa hwa...

God, this is where I'm going to draw strength and wisdom again from You :) Ohhh and thank You for this good and slow week, though I missed my friends loads because they had to practice for tribute.

Sem 2 is coming to an end soon~ No more MT010 MIDI hee hee! *cheeky look*

Surprise!

Every driving lesson surprised me.

Friday: I drove around Bandar Kinrara (my second lesson)

Sunday (Today): I drove from Puchong to Kelana Jaya!! Highways, big lorries and buses, big T junctions, and appeared-from-nowhere-motorcyclists @.@

Driving is niceee ;)

It also reminds me of Spongebob's boating school :P

Just seriously dislike the part where my driving instructor smoked tonnes of cigarette buds that damaged hundreds of my alveoli and two lungs :S

Oh well, but he's a nice patient man, reminds me of my grandfather- smokes, 4 ekor and drives at 30-40 speed. No one's perfect. Now I'm missing my dear grandfather :)

Glue!

I'm gonna' glue myself to the piano starting from... this weekend!! Arghh, so much to catch up! :)

A Mother's Love

Mom just threw me an awesome steamboat party to celebrate my straight As SPM results.

Thank you mom for your cooking, preparation, strength, effort and LOVE!

I love you so much and I appreciate you loads <3

Mom has taught me the value of love. I grew up with her love- preparing breakfast before school, took time to coach me story telling during primary school days,my home-made-with-much-love January birthday cakes, birthday square pizzas back in Mentakab, be my listening ear to ALL stuffs that I'm facing in life, knows my favourite food, never gives me stress on my studies, buys me stuffs when she sees stuffs that reminds her of me, supportive mom and corrects me when I'm wrong.

Most of the time, I see myself as my mom in the next 10 years! I like mom's detailed, thoughtful and neat personality. I looked like my dad, but character wise I'm alot like her, an exact photocopy of mom. That includes me being a light-sleeper just like her! And, we can't sing in tune but have all the notes right in our heads, we just can't deliver the notes perfectly :D

I'm super blessed to have a mom like her.

This is for you, Mommy Wee!

:D

(she looks kinda serious in the picture :P we were in Bangkok, but she's the cool, jolly, friendly and humorous type of mom teehee!)

Oh and, she even baked Esther a birthday cupcake last year on Skype hehe! Because of mom, I learn to be thoughtful and appreciative towards my family and friends :)

I've found you!!

... Cissy Crackers! Nyek nyek!

After 4 months of searching for this crackers, it really cracked me! I couldn't find it in Tesco, Giant, Cold Storage, Carrefour, Jusco, air-conditional malls, cold places, etc. Finally, I've found it in a pasar malam :D

Cheap and nice!

But the manufacturer changed the cartoon, and the crackers have tiny holes and initials C.H.E.E.S.E. It was thicker the last time too. Hmm...

But, I thank God for remembering my prayer I made : "Lord, I want my cissy crackers..." and HERE YOU ARE!

I gobbled a packet of it on the way home just now before I could snap a full picture teehee!

Cissy Crackers = Me and Esther's childhood favourite crackers. (nope, actually, it's her favourite crackers, I like it because it reminds me of her :) hehe)