Good times!

First of all, I miss this! SMK Seksyen 3 Bandar Kinrara's DRAMA team. I went back to school for results and heard from juniors (which is now the seniors in school :P) that things are not the same anymore. Ah well, I know that feeling. Years past and team members changed, newbies and drama-actors-actress wannabe will be recruited. Mood changed. Different characters. But only one who did not change- Pn. Suneeta! :D The teacher-behind-the-scenes, whom she gave loads of encouragement to everyone. I've been in the team since 2006-2010 hee hee. Definitely stressful but with lots of funny, frustrating, embarrassing, emotional whatever moments you name it. Lots of wonderful memories in that good 5 years. Hey, I cherish my friends well :)

Aha! Caitlen, me like! Talented girl.

2008 drama- airplane crashed, ugly truths revealed story. This was the MOST memorable year : my face reacted to that make-up chemical, rashes eww...

2009 drama- family crisis with twisted plot story, incredible! We won for state level.

And the finale, I miss these models-wannabe. The one on the left, doesn't even know how to pose~ nyek nyek!

<3

To Esther my sister, Angel and Doreen my church buddies where we grew up together, hugs and tiong!

Need some rest

I'm so very tired. My legs are sore. Physically and mentally, I'm drained. I've been practicing a lot in school, classes after classes then non-stop practices. But I'm happy after tomorrow! My Friday Performance for Sem2 is gonna be over! Trust me, I prefer to do back stage stuffs :P not so much of a crowd-attention seeker. I wake up at 7am, come home at 9.30pm. This is thrice the stress of secondary school life! Friends have been asking me to stay in the Heritage. Nah! Broken lifts/elevators scare my soul.

After tomorrow... no rest yet. Start doing my assignments, go for Dawn prayer in church, youth prayer lead this Sunday and I haven't had time to seek God on how to lead, meet my Sek 3 school friends, start PS practice on Monday, ICA 2 coming up gota start studying and pass my driving test!

When can I rest properly?? I've been having my auto leg-cramps during my sleep. Guessed I walked too much! God, I need some rest! Please? However, I still find joy in doing whatever that I'm doing now :)

PTL

I always write this PTL initial at the back of my EVERY test papers since Standard 1.

PTL : Praise The Lord.

It's a small way to show my appreciation to Him and to acknowledge Him. Without Him, I wouldn't be able to do well for my test.

Whatever results they are, I believe that it was Him who have helped me achieved marks higher than I have expected. And I'm very thankful for His grace and elephant memory to study. So yeah, this is for You!! Thank You for Your another wonderful blessing in my SPM results : a string of As

PTL!

<3

Patience

I'm writing it in an informal way, just a thought :

I always look up to the seniors in my school, whom they are simply awesome pianists or multi-taskers. Some are really talented yet humble. Feeling so curious, I wonder how did they manage to pick up quickly and apply anything that they have studied into their playings. I think to myself, when will I be like one of them? It takes seasons to be well groomed in our own field. At times, I feel so lost do not know how to improve myself by applying contemporary harmony into my playing, or whatever it needs to do so. Blues and modes for example, and I don't know how and what to practice :S Gaaah, I'm such a bookworm, give me anything to study I can 'digest' and then 'vomit' them out and that's not so a good thing. Music is a subjective course. That's why, I need You Lord so much to so help me in providing me wisdom, skills and PATIENCE throughout my practice time and classes in school.

I'm feeling much intimidated by them even if they tell me that I'm good which I think I'm not :')

* For Esther, my dear sister if you're reading this, my quiet time is fine and don't worry about me. I think I'm spending most of my quiet time on the train :) I think it's pretty cool haha. Month of June come quickly so that I can see you! <3

Ask and you shall receive

Another day of school life:

Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it will be given to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you.

I never thought that my simple yet detailed prayer I made during my walk to school this morning could carry much weight and impact on me today. That was because I asked God for a fruitful day- a day where I could learn good techniques to be a better pianist and where I have to come out from my comfort zone. Faith as small as a mustard seed still counts!

• I reached school, couldn't get myself a piano room :S Finally bumped into Li Ching at the RIGHT time and borrowed her room (again :P). As I was practicing Isaac's exam piece, my "master" came in to put his guitar stuffs. I bet he couldn't get a room too nyahaha! The next thing I knew he was teaching me how to do solo. "Since you're my "slave", I should be teaching you stuffs too hehe..." I was "sold" to Aleif as "slave" in a student counsel meeting.

• At 2pm, I went in for my PI class. Mr. Wee Lern, my piano teacher taught me something I always wanted to learn! Walking-base and improvisation. In half an hour's time, I managed to receive his brilliant interesting documents as much as I can into my cerebrum. And yesh yesh, I did asked him questions too and got the answers from him.

• When I walked out from my PI classroom, Jun had to tell me the bad news- English class is cancelled! Whaaaaat?? I came all the way from Puchong and took the "Eleven Bus" (my two legs, " I I " ) just to attend a 1/2 hour PI class for today? The moment I stepped out the room, I saw Li Ching again but with Kevin. He was so kind enough to share with us on jazz and blues improvisation and practice techniques, for almost an hour! And, good thing I managed to ask him about my FP piece which he gave some interesting ideas about it. Ahh, and later I got to tour Setapak town with Anna, Joanne and Li Ching. Toooooo bad Ramly burger near Wangsa Maju was not opened :( gaaah, another time... another time :D

So yeah, this is another one of my fruitful days. God knows my needs and have already gone ahead of time to arrange all my life events properly, with detailed. I like detailed work. And He knows best too not to allow me in participating tribute to Disney. I can't cope with it because I have other responsibilities to take up ;)

I'll Be There, Daphne!

Being in the hospital for an hour really got me into much thinking. I saw doctors and nurses and the white team, together they worked hard to treat patients. I struggled, again. My ego jumped out of the box. I was reminded about how close I was to study medicine. Since I'm such a bookworm and considered having the 'kiasu' syndrome, I thought I could make it in the medical field. The desire to study again chemistry and biology was overwhelming. Ironically, what am I doing with music? Was it the right thing to pursue my passion? My talent? My calling? My ministry? Doctors healed patients and some even ministered to them too!

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my uncle's car on the way home. Still battling with the medicine-music thingy. The radio was switched on but my mind wasn't in tune to it. Then, my attention was captured on a beautiful petite rainbow (no kidding, it was really small out of nowhere hanging on the sky! ) that symbolized God's promise {to Abraham that He will not flood the earth again}. In a split second my mind was in tuned to the music on aired - The Jackson 5's chorus, I'll Be There.

I'll be there, I'll be there, wherever you need me, I'll be there,

I'll be there I'l be there, just call my name, I'll be there.

Immediately, I was filled with God's peace. I was enlighten! Delighted! Though I didn't bring my struggles to Him, afraid that He would get fed up with me (which obviously He won't, my mind was playing tricks on me), God still loves and cares for me and talks to me in ways I never expected. I teared.

You're being short-sighted. Look beyond and put your hopes in Me. Be patient, and I'll groom you.

I need You! I'll call Your name! Thank You for being there for me! <3

My cousie and me

This is Adeline Wee. We grew up together. She knows a lot about me and my friends (sometimes it's scary jeng jeng jeng jeng :P). Come to think about it, she's like my second elder sister. We almost talk about everything under the sun, the moon and the stars. Ahh well, we are still finding time to go shopping, maybe tomorrow, maybe not, maybe the next time, maybe later laa :D She buys me clothes and teaches me about "how to put your make-up" and some hair techniques which I'm pretty noob about it. Basically, I'm just a very simple girl, who also won't dye my hair even if I have thousands of white-grey hair at the age of who knows. Weeeee! Right now, she's here with me once again, crashed in my room, enjoying each other's company. I don't have time to scan our baby and pre-teen photos (once upon a time when I was a tom boy and she, the lovely dovey friendly kid). Us being girls, here are some pictures :P

Adeline (left) the smart one who also scored 4 flats for her STPM I'm so proud of her!

<3

Okay, I'm feeling sleepy now *yawns*. But before I sleep, I'm gonna hit some keys on the piano. Will be trying out some Blues~ and Modes learnt in a clinic today teehee!

I think Contemporary Jazz music is awesome, got the hang of it now, and learning it. Hopefully by December, I can jazz up some Christmas songs and my sister is going to sing!

Nyek nyek :D

Read till Sleep

I just feel like reading the Bible until I fall asleep.

People pleaser

I'm battling with myself every time I make a decision. To say YES or NO does affect friendships, surrounding and me. So I decided to always sacrifice my own self, time, effort, sleep, strength, health and studies and try my best to compromise with them. Then again, I felt that I was cheated and have been taken advantaged by others. Selfish. Not everyone is a friend. Disappointed. Worst, the many sacrifices done are not being appreciated.

It seems so difficult for me to be in this position :'( How do I become smart to decline people in a nice way? Or do I just need to be firm with myself. Maybe I'm just too nice to everyone. But I can't afford to hurt their feelings. So the best way is to just stifle up myself? To swallow down the pressuring gas alone? Just to prevent further arguments and the emotional pushing-and-shoving here and there? I'm very sure God doesn't want that to happen. That's why He gave each of us wisdom, discernment and a choice to make.

Why is it so hard to say NO?

I should really start to think for myself and not do everyone a favour or to take in all of their feelings. Then again, this requires some wisdom.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.