Feeling blue

That whole grading system for exams and credits, scared me out today in school. I have to maintain a very high GPA and CGPA because of Berklee's standard. Just hoping that God would sostenuto (sustained, in English) me and me not sospirando (sighing) with the high competitive musicians in school. Tomorrow will be my placement test results- either I got in to Semester 1 or 2, the better ones would be in Sem 2, and I definitely need to be in Sem 2 but God, it's so up to You to where You're going to place me in.

Gaaah! I felt extremely disappointed with myself today! I should have stood up for God when teacher asked "who plays gospel songs?" Ughhh! It was like something has been holding back my hands from raising it high up. Was it pride? Was it my shy timid self confidence? I never felt so tiny before for this whole stand up for Jesus thing. Then he went on with "Oh so none is religiousss (sort of like poking fun) here right?" I was pissed man! With myself more. I should have raised my hand. I really should have done it.

I'm feeling very crappy right now.

:'(




I'm sorry for letting You down today. The whole song made me cry especially the ending part.