What I thought

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

Rascal Flats- What Hurts The Most

Shoe freak, shucks!

I've counted the pairs of shoes, sandals, flats, heels, wedges and slippers that I own, and it's a total number of 18 of them (I hope I didn't miss out any one, some are left in my car), and I haven't added the ones that I'm sharing with my sister.

Oh dearie.
And I bought another 2 today to add them into my collection of shoesss.
And I'm thinking of getting a pair of red strappy heels or the wedges from my friend's boutique, caz... it is so friggin awesome!

I'm officially a shoe freak.
Contentment, would you please self-invite yourself into me?

*Faints @.@

Thinking of you

I miss my little fellas in Singapore

:)

This is Dillon the hansem!

He is one cheeky little fella who tickles you every morning to wake you up

ahhhhhhhh!

Claire is his sister.

She can recognize words like CARROT and CAPSICUM at the age of 2.

Smart and bright little girl.

Holiday photos

:)

Road life

Life is kinda like driving.

The cars and traffic lights become our circumstances.

They either slow you down or some idiot drivers just pissed you off while you're driving.

Or you wanted to drive pass a green light but the tortoise car in front of you is taking his sweet time and the next thing you know, it turned yellow then red so quickly and you feel like strangling that bugger.

Or something like that.

These are the stuffs in life that keep us away from what we want to do or where we want to go. We can't go on our own ways simply because of we need to sometimes put up with others who are a pain in the neck or the obstacles around us halt our plans and hinder us from getting ahead.

My as well just tell the great One Almighty God in Heaven to help us. He can slow down or speed up the cars around us, and maybe even help us in our own driving manner, so that He is in control of the whole traffic flow on the road and that we'll get to our destination, our hopes and dreams on time. And we need not to go through the unnecessary angers of life when we ask Him to come take control of our lives.

Circumstances and men do not control our lives. If they are, surely we'll be living in a super messed up life. The one should be in control of our lives is God and He can, and He is good. That's why He is call God because He is good! We have our freedom to make that choice. I wanna choose the wiser one.

Just a thought as I was driving home this morning.

*Kuching photos and stories are still on the way :)

Coming up...

Stories and some pictures of my trip to the other side of Malaysia, coming soon...

:)

The Everyday Thing

Studying the behaviour of people and in the attempt of reading someone else's mind can be pretty interesting. But, there is also a tendency to judge them.

Hmm...

The best way to approach all of these is LOVE!

:)

I choose

I rather become a peacemaker than arguing with the other on who has got the more right ticks.

Suck it in, Daphne. And then move on with life.

Less is more

Sometimes, less is more.

Also, sometimes, by keeping quiet when I don't know what to say or how to react, really saved me from being embarrassed or becoming a foolish person or a laughing stock.

Inspiration, y u no come?

Writing a song is not that eezee!

Sitting down here right now with Christine, she singing, me typing.

We need inspiration.

"Inspiration, y u no come?"

Coz she just sang "I wanna touch your face..." to me.

-.-''

And she's holding my ukulele, simply strumming to a few notes.

I used to complete my songs, but now I don't.

We have ideas here and there, but we don't know how to develop them.

It's all over the place!

Gaaaaah, I wonder what to do now.

A good break

My first vocal class today! It's time to practice for some breathing and placement before the next class.

I thought of just grabbing two mini Red Velvets for me and Esther this afternoon. Ended up, we bought 5 new tank tops and 2 Maxi. Super like! And then I thought of Derrick when I saw some Cookies and Cream cupcakes. He enjoyed it though when we present the cupcake to him.

I plan to pamper him with food, but leaving the whatever park : bird park, butterfly park, animal park all to Esther :D

Shopped at Kitschen a few days ago.

It felt really good to take everything slowly.

I'm enjoying my break.

Steamboat with some friends tomorrow at my place.

I'll be flying off to Kuching for a holiday next week! Teehee :)

I call it a good break when there's food, when I get to buy stuffs for myself and others, spending time with my loved ones and doing anything that gotta do with music.

Next stuffs to shop : Shoes and sandals

:D

Team Meeting

The meet up was good. I really had a wonderful time with the team 2 (MYPG/LYPG).

We had so much to talk on our sleepover at Faith's house.

From sharing about our callings to relationships, from our favourite ice-cream to hobbies, colours and love languages, we got to know each other better. I appreciate the whole meet up because it's so much more easier to know a person in real more than through Skype.

The funniest part was that some did a quick research on FB, trying to scan and memorize the faces and match them with their names before the whole meet up. LOL.

We met some from team 3 too for dinner at Shogun, Solaris. We had a wonderful evening of stuffing our stomachs with plenty of food. I had 2 rounds and that was it! But I managed to go for desserts and fruits. Still, I'm considered as one of the lousiest. Hoohoo!

After the meal, we sat down there and got comfortable with the environment. The introverts don't mind the in-between silence, it's where we obtain our energy hehe, it became a joke among the team members. But we did talked to each other too and shared our own stories, what we're doing now etc. I guess the introverts weren't as introvert as I thought, we're all quite balanced. Nyeheh!

One point that I truly agree was that the "Introverts get really tired after a gathering" but the extroverts became even more energetic.

I guess that a good functioning team is made up of different personalities and characters and everyone has their own uniqueness and gifting. But we all have the same Someone to look to and live for- Jesus. Looking forward to more of our meet ups!

:)

The little things

As I drive along the road on the way home, passed my former high school this afternoon, I couldn't help it but to have some compassion for the students. Millions of thoughts rushed across my mind and I wonder what are their aims in life, passion, how are coping up with their studies, are they going thru' some emotional roller coaster right now or what?

And then upon reaching home, I saw my neighbour's maid walking hand-in-hand with Ryan- a good looking little fella :) It was after his kindergarden because he was wearing his super cute uniform. And I waved at both of them so hard that I almost couldn't turn my steering properly. Hehhee! I tell you... I had the best moment today and will always keep today's picture in the back of my head. Ryan had the most amazing beautiful smile, like he was so happy to see a familiar face passing by. His smile had given me a radiant hope and I felt my heart so enlighten by that kid's expression.

I wonder, whether will I be teaching one day? Touching, encouraging and inspiring lives one day too? I hope so, through my attitude, lifestyle and music. I get inspired and encouraged by these little little things of life.

:)

Looking back, He's always there!

I'm thinking... I'm thinking...

Processing some of my thoughts.

I really felt that I needed to thank Someone so special in my life.

Although when I messed things up, He's always there to pick things up for me.

When I began to fear the unknowns and circumstances, when I look to Him, He's always giving me that don't-panic peace of mind in me.

When all I could only see things short sightedly, when I thought that my analysis made some senses, He smiles, and I know that He is in control of the things that bothers me.

When I thought that I've disappointed Him, He whispers to me "I love you!" and I can't help it but to burst into tears because of the Great Love.

And I caught myself sometimes staring at a comfortable point, lost in thoughts.

But I try not to work too hard with my brains, I don't want to accumulate some white grayish hair by the age of 30.

Hehhee!

Made up my mind

I never should have compromised with that decision again.

Anymore.

That's it!

I hope that I can stand firm on my decision.

Foodie Friends

It was a spontaneous plan. I received a phone call this morning from Ryan via Winnie's handphone, "We are going to Premaa's tonight, dinner??"

So off I went for dinner with them. Main course dinner. But we decided to share. A very wise choice. Christine was with us too :D She helped me to park my car, again, and she accidentally locked my steering! But after the third attempt of inserting my keys, it unlocked by itself... Hmmh.

Then I decided to bring the trio down to Char Kuey Tiaw at Bandar Puteri. Ryan insisted that he.must.try.it! Or else, he'll go nuts. Ended up, we ordered extra Lam Mee. No regrets. Our stomachs were half full and we all agreed that we'll call for only ONE bowl of dessert later.

After that, we headed down to the dessert shop. Everyone got so happy and excited seeing the Menu. We ended up calling for FIVE types of desserts. @.@ What gluttons we were. And we'll be doing this again next week. Menu: Hokkien Mee, Mr. Chicken, Duck rice, Siew Yok Fun, DimSum etc.

We killed three restaurants in one evening, for one meal.

We talked, we ate, we shared, we laughed, we laughed at each other. We had a good evening.

Yup yup, Puchong is a food haven for everyone. If you know where to eat :D

Be the Mary

Rest is good.

It helps a lot for me to have a clear and focus mind.

What rest is for me is to soak myself in God's court.

Was pretty restless and my thoughts were so disorganized and random this week.

Probably it's because of time management, exams, stuffs and busy preparation for Tuesday.

The best part of this morning is that I had a Duet with the King!

And I was just being showered with loads of love and promises from Him.

Yes He holds my future, He will be my light.

I find my security under His shadow.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Prov 91:1-2

Today's ODJ has become a confirmation and an encouragement to me.

http://www.ourdailyjourney.org/2012/03/03/one-thing/

Hope this encourages those who reads this, for those who have been so busy, tired and want to rise up from the circumstances of life.

I've binned my to-do list and be the Mary who sits at Jesus's feet. It was totally worth it! Never too late to do so.

Pondering

Looking back, I'm really thankful and grateful for what I've gone through, what kind of decision that I've chose to make that have brought me to where I am now and what I'm doing now. I proudly say that He was with me in those times.

I started liking and enjoying this course that I'm doing (oh yeah FINALLY!). Feeling terrible and troubled in my first year as a music student, I've always wanted to quit because it was tough for me. But now, in the second year, I've realized that if it wasn't about the tough times, I wouldn't have improved myself or grown up to another level of maturity in terms of musicality, personality, spiritually, thinking etc. and yes, definitely physically too :P Food is good!

I actually kinda like the hard part of learning as a pianist. Never knew that I have this enthusiasm in me recently.

Ah wells, just felt like saying that God is always GOOD and throughout the seasons of my life, I learn and understand more about Him, His character, the way He works and a little of His thoughts (I'll never completely know what He's thinking). For I know that when He got me in into this music industry, for sure He has a plan for me, a plan to prosper but not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future.

He knows what He's doing. I'm just following :)

This heart of mine

Let not this heart of mine wander away too far from You.

Let not this heart of mine get distracted by the things of this world.

But, let this heart of mine listen and be obedient towards what You say,

and let this heart of mine LOVE You always.

The Balancing Pair

I'm really blest to have such wonderful parents.

I'm saying this not because of the whole Valentine's day yesterday or what hehe :P

I appreciate them for being my parents and for raising up 3 kids and sticking up for each other through thick and thin.

It's my dad. Whenever I have a situation to solve, I'll always go up to him and catch him to sit down and talk with me, before he goes off praying or to work or to watch Warta Berita (I call it "water bitter" when I was a kid until now @.@ because it sounded like it when daddy said Warta Berita in a fast manner. Sigh, the product of a child's upbringing in an English-speaking family hehe).

There's one that came up today. I was thinking of whether to join tribute this semester. I think it would be really fun- I get to learn new stuffs, stress together with the team, laugh and go nuts with the Icom bunch of musicians, stay up late to practices, eat Chicken Chop Chicken Rice for dinner, be part of the cool team etc. But I have a scholarship audition coming up, my LYPG (Local Youth Prayer Gathering, a prayer movement for the nation) commitment, my weekly accountability group Skype prayer meeting, church worship team commitment, and a whole bunch of stuffs to improve like, my techniques and improvisation. I still have to figure out and make some time to learn how to use a Kronos. But then again, tribute is only until April, it'll be done really soon and I can have my time back. But if I join tribute, I will struggle with time management and exams and all the commitments and the stuffs that I need to do.

Both are actually good and beneficial to me. But I know that I have to choose what is better for me. I don't like to put too many "food" on my "plate", I might just "throw up" everything and all will be ruined.

So daddy is always here to help me and to discuss and ask me questions so that I'll have a clearer mind to handle a situation like that. Those questions and views he gave have deepen my analysis. I like how he helps me to see and balance up my intuition, thinking and judging skills. I learnt a lot every time I hear from him, his views and reasons, besides all the Bible knowledge He has and that we will sit up late talking about the big God above and life, he also taught me practical steps, thinking and reasoning and being realistic.

He also told me that he wants to hear all my problems and to guide me and figure things out together. I guess he really love being a father :) This also reminds me of the big Father in heaven who is eager to hear from us.

Mom was in school for extra curriculum. She's the best too I would say. I love her cooking and the time spent with her whether it was just a short ride in the car or shopping or hanging the clothes together. She taught me mostly about relationships with people and the emotional issues :)

So I have this awesome balancing pair, mom and dad, to guide me in handling real-life matter and how to rise up from all these and look to God always.

Sometimes it's really funny to know that they never burden us (me, Esther and Derrick) with the stress of life eg. excelling in our education, be good kids etc. and it was the other way round. I think some times we push ourselves a little too hard. We stress our own selves. Farnieeeey!

:]

A thought to think

Dad called me up to water the plants this morning.

As I was watering the flowers, suddenly, something just dawn on me.

I realized that I was so busy watering the plant, thinking so much on how to provide the maximum amount of water and to be able to distribute the water evenly to all the plants.

But I totally forgotten to enjoy the beauty of the colourful flowers!

I looked up in the mac dictionary for the word "Enjoy" :

Enjoyverb1 he enjoys playing the piano: like, love, be fond of, be entertained by, take pleasure in, be keen on, delight in, appreciate, relish, revel in, adore,lap up, savor, luxuriate in, bask in; informal get a kick out of, get athrill out of, dig.ANTONYMS dislike, hate.
It's the same when I do music. How on earth do I enjoy it when sometimes the feeling of getting the music right became so overwhelming and I forgot to enjoy the music?

Wisdom

... I want more! :D

From You above.

To be able to handle people and to solve problems wisely.

To know how to take care of myself too :D

I began to appreciate the gifting in me and my personality.

There's more room of improvement to be done :)

He is Faithful, Just and Good!

Truly I say, about this week, that God has shown me His super grace, big love, mighty power, Him as a Deliverer, Redeemer and a Restorer :)

Friday :

He really helped me in my Friday Performance. Although I made some (actually there were a lot of them, major ones) mistakes along the process of preparing my song, He was gracious enough to help me fix things in the very last minutes. I was already on a dead-end, desperate and devastated of how messed up things were to me, but He managed my song and my band members really well. I never thought that I can have the strength to go on because I'm always a good starter, but I have trouble finishing it up. And this, definitely, it was all about His super grace.

Saturday :

Weekly LYPG meeting. I realized how much I really love and appreciate my new accountability group members my friends. We pray and encourage one another through Skype meetings and our weekly LYPG meetings. I've found a place with its members, having being concern and caring for the nation and wanting to be intercessors for Malaysia. It's really exciting to be part of it and having friends to walk together with me in this journey, knowing that I'm not alone. I really thank God for this accountability group :) Looking forward for March where we'll be having some berbonding-bonding time together. I'm really thankful and grateful for the new accountability friends and church friends ( more explanation below ) that He has given them to me, after years of praying for friends like them :)

Sunday :

Church, Friends and Worship Retreat. I really feel comfortable with this church and its friends. For the past 8 months of attending His Church, I really grew a lot in my spiritual state and character building and was healed from all my hurts and disappointment with people. After church, me and my sister went for a Worship Retreat which was held in the Crowne Plaza Hotel, KL, and it was His Church's first worship retreat. We were both really blest by Pastor Raymond's message and the fei-lo-ship, and felt really privileged to have attended it :) As I was having my afternoon siesta in the hotel room, I couldn't help it but to just smile at myself and at Him for what He is doing for me, and my family. I lost the church, its friends, the worship ministry that I was in and my passion for music for the past 1 and a 1/2 years ago, but He redeemed and restored all of these to me and my family with even better ones! God always gives His children the better things, look at Job! :)

There is a time for everything. I even wonder why didn't He just let us join His Church from the very beginning and had to go through first the few years of hurts in church planting, church splittings and friendship breakups. There is a time for everything :) It was a training ground for me in those past 7 years before He wants to take me up, now, to a higher level of being a Worshipper and a Worship Leader. He has delivered us from the past. Looking back, I'm actually really glad for what had happened, and also now, to know that I'm growing again. Things happened for a reason.

Finally, after years of searching for my identity, He has spoken to me about my identity in the late January. Of which, I have already journaled it down personally. I no longer am a confused Christian and will never want to be a cold or a lukewarm worshipper.

I am now learning how to live and walk by faith in everything that I do, feel, think and say.

:)

It has been a rocketing year for me of learning and understanding the purpose of being a passer-by on this Earth and experiencing Him ever since I came back from Minggu Doa!

I'd say, mind-blowing.

Love

There's nothing else greater than the love of Jesus!

:)

One day down

... and 6 more days to go!

Busy days, tight schedule ones.

I always pray in the toilet before I start to work in Bangsar every time. It's not really a conducive environment to do so, because there's no where else as quiet as the ladies :P Plus, God is everywhere *winks.

A generous customer gave me 2 angpaos, RM10 each, while I was busy serenading the piano at a restaurant in Bangsar. Thank You Jesus for Your favour is always with me. Man, I feel so pampered by Him tonight! :) [a copy-paste from my FB status *grins]

Changes

It's so difficult for me to adapt to changes.

Like a friend whom I know will be leaving college for a while, friends who left college without saying goodbye, and other friends who told me that they'll be leaving college and hope to see each other someday. The environment in college has changed much. I miss some of the moments I used to have with my friends.

Changes as simple as a new hair cut can make me feel a little uneasy. I always opt for the usual, not wanting to make a drastic change (yet!). Maybe I'm just not ready for stuffs like that.

But in some cases, I know that some changes are really good for me. I know that I've been pushed in a good way to come out from my Oh-So-Comfortable! shell where I'm nicely sleeping in it, so that God can use me to do the extraordinary and the Oh-No!-So-Impossible! becomes possible by His will, power and might. This one, is happening right now I must say. I like and it's challenging.

I realize that I'm a little late when it comes to digesting a new fact or a happening incident in an environment. I categorize them as under "changes" :]

"A new born baby!" Yes I know, and will only get excited maybe 2-3 days later once I stomach down the joy of it.

"Straight As for exams!" Yeah? And smile to myself maybe a week later when I apply for an application that requires my results or something.

"He likes you lah," Yeah? I think... We're just good friends.

Changes...

I guess the hardest part of change for me to digest is that when people I know well and I love especially, or people I only know them on the surface change due to the influence of the not so good company, or from the little but growing voice inside them that dictates them to do the unthinkable that causes any unpleasant outcome.

(I think my sentence above is too long :P But I'm so sleepy now to edit it hee hee.)

Ah wells, it's just a thought.

Roomie!

Now that my room is 'purple-ised' (mom and dad took time to paint my room), and my keyboard has been shifted into my room under my request, hoping that every morning when I wake up and see the keyboard first thing in the morning, I'll have the motivation to practice hee hee hee hee hee!

WAIT... !

I forgotten that I still have to fetch one joker to work at 7.45am from Monday-Friday.

:D

Why Music

I thought to myself today.

What if or when people ask me these questions :

"Why do you study music?"

"What will you do with your career?"

"Can earn money ah? How?"

Traveling back to my old memories wasn't that easy for me to recall the decisions I made that have led me to where I am right now.

It was these two simple questions I remember He had asked me 2-3 years ago.

"Do you love music?"

Yes!

"Do you love Me?"

Yes yes!

Somehow when I was 4, I love fetching (mom/dad drove, not me :] ) my sister from her music class. I love seeing all the music exercise books that had stickers with it. I love the sound of the piano. And somehow, I knew that one day I would be playing the piano and making music for the rest of my life. I kept pestering mom and dad to let me attend my sister's music class. They told me that I was too young to start. However, due to my 'perseverance', they finally agreed *grins.

When I turn 11, my sister actually taught me how to spread and roll on some simple I-VI-IV-V chords on the piano. For C Maj, it's CGCDE; for A-, it's AEABC and so on. The next thing I know, I was on the piano for Sunday service! I became the regular Sunday morning pianist, for camps, carolings and also church choir. And then I remember the feeling of letting the HS guide my playing when I became terrified to lead worshippers into worship.

My love for Him and music grew so rapidly whenever I play any P&W songs.

So...

"Why do you study music?"

"What will you do with your career?"

"Can earn money ah? How?"

It's because of my love for Him and He loves me.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Matt 6:33.

Whenever I start to loose my balance in pursuing music, I'll always remember this :

"Do you love music? Do you love Me?"

When there's music, there's us.

mUSic :)

His great Love

If my earthly father (and mother) can love me so much by leaving me the best piece of chicken drumstick for lunch, even though we just had an argument ; then how much more will my Heavenly Father love me?

Despite all my imperfections and weaknesses in me, He will always love me.

CNY dad's side

Today is the day I get to spend some time with my dad's side relatives. My dad has 14 bruthers and sistahs, including him. Every CNY gathering, my uncle number-something I lost count would lead us into a time of singspiration before we 'pahk chior' (like piranha gobbling down food) :D

And the all-time favourite no.1 on the music chart is "Jin Jia Ho". It's a Hokkien song saying : It is good to come to know the Lord and something something heh heh.

:D

Then we would sing some more other P&W songs in English, Chinese, Hokkien and Malay with my uncle on the guitar, follow then a time of prayer in Chinese/Hokkien. My uncle's from a Chinese church.

It's good to see most of us gathered together and update each other on what's going on with our lives : Who just got pregnant? Who's getting married? Who's got a new boifren galfren? What are you doing now? And all the aunties and uncles with their usual : "Wah ah ger, u so big already ah?" and "ah boi so tall already!" But for my brother's case, it's "Boy still the same eh?" :P

I consider myself as an introvert today. Probably too tired after the past 3 days of gatherings at my home and late night movies with my mom's family side. And my aunt didn't believe me when I told her that I'm an introvert. It depends on the situation, I can be both introvert and extrovert :D

Hee!

CNY mom's side

When they're here...

The yearly 'traditions' we do every time my relatives from Singapore come down.

: Spontaneous late night movies particularly the Canto / Chinese ones. I consider myself as a Canto Banana so I read the subtitles and my eyes and brains get tired in the middle of the show. We also always have movies in CDs and DVDs to watch at home too. Watching Canto / Chinese movies is not really my interest, but I like the whole excitement of going out and doing things together with the people I love :)

: Non-stop food hunting galore! I love this part, we have > 4 meals a day. Eating is definitely my thing! But, I think we're all still under control. Hee! :D Noodles in Imbi, rice, kuih etc.

This is the Jom Makan family that I always talk about (some in my previous blog entries). Distance is not a problem for us when it comes to eating :P

All of them are down for this CNY. The Melacca ones, the Singaporeans and the Kuantan-ians. What else more can I ask?

That is of coz, one thing that I can only pray and He knows what that is.

:)

Light shine, please

This little light in me, I'm gonna let it shine.

Just thinking about how will this little light in me shine.

***

One year ago, I stepped into ICOM, happily trotting into the building, feeling enthusiastic;

One year later, which is also now, I step into ICOM, wondering, why and how Music sometimes can be such a difficult subject to grasp/understand.

I do wonder, sometimes, that whether am I left behind from my friends?

Am I improving?

I guess nothing is easy.

Whatever stuffs that we do.

It requires hard work.

I did, I tried, I prayed for creativity, I worked hard.

...

I'm not letting you pulling me down.

I'm not letting you robbing away the blessings and anointing that come from Him.

I shall not even give in to your deception and confusion.

I know what you're doing.

So I'm telling you something.

The One who is in me is greater/more powerful than the one who is in the world.

1 John 4:4

the Fast and Go

So many new commitments! So excited! Actually, there's only 2 new commitments, 1 renewed, and 1 more is still on hold. New tasks, new challenges for me. Surprisingly, I'm taking them in with a peace of mind and a peace of heart, knowing that I'm carefully guided by the HS.

I'm never a risk taker. But He said : "Go! Yes now, it's time," and I moaned : "Really ahh? What if I'm not ready yet??" But, I'm already on the Go and I'm doing the Go right now. I'm glad, and yes I like the New. It's definitely a period of trusting God because of the new tasks.

I remember Elizabeth prayed for me in the Plan 11, saw that God was holding my hand telling me : ''It's okay, you're safe with me. I'm with you and I'll be guiding you,''

It all just happened so fast for me! I'm digesting everything that is happening.

Nom nom nom... Digesting...

:)

Purple wound

While washing a small bowl yesterday, it slipped off my hand. In the attempt to "save" the bowl's life, I cut my wrist with one of the broken pieces.

The best part is that... I almost fainted! :D

I've always wanted to feel what it's like to faint and I experienced it yesterday.

Quite cool BUT scary.

I think I got panicked and went pale seeing blood oozing out and the thought of "How on earth am I gonna play my piano anymoooore!" rushed across my mind.

My family doctor glued my wound and it's now purple in colour. I like. Though it hurts a little.

It was a deep cut on my left wrist (oxygenated blood :s), so close, just right beside my major vein. Really thank God for not allowing the cut to be more serious. Now people are gonna' think that I tried to commit suicide or something :x

PS: Committing suicide is the devil's lie and never an option for me. I have Jesus :)

This year

2012 is a year for me. Pastor Jan Nel's prophecy on me today in church.

It will be a year of having faith and trusting God. Aunty Eng Ing's prophecy on me in camp.

I will be like the cherry red flower in the vast greenery, sitting down with a purpose to shine His beauty and be a blessing to others.

When the dark clouds roll in and the rain starts to pour, when I run and hide in my secret place and think to myself that I'll be safe, He comes finding me and tells me "Don't be afraid, come with me and lets play in the rain,"

It's an exciting unknown to me. 2012!

:D

After 7 days in prayer camp

... will never be the same me again.

I'm really blessed to have attended Minggu Doa (MYPG). There are like tonnes of things I would love to brag about how awesome possum God is! (Btw, I didn't mean that God is a possum, awesome just rhymes with possum heehee.) In case you've never seen a possum before...

nah here it is!

:D

I learnt so many things about praying and worshipping, my love relationship with the Father has increased deeply, HS and how the big boss JC works and speaks, and definitely an intercessor for Malaysia. I never knew how important it is my role to pray for Her until Acts 17:26-28 spoke to me about how God created me and has placed me in this country for His purpose, not by any accident that I'm here. Honestly, I never cried so much before in my whole entire life for Her and this camp has opened my heart to support and carry out God's plan for Malaysia. It's mysterious, yet exciting!

Also, I'll never forget seeing the young hearts crying out to Him.

The struggles faced, and for the revival in us and Malaysia.

It's a new commitment that I've made to God and there's no turning back. When my heart fears the black clouds attacking me, surely I'll know where and Who to run to. I want to be part of this movement. It's an honour and a great joy to be a part of this team, and I have died to my own dreams and plans. Now, I don't have a clue on what's gonna be next :O No one knows : not my dad not my mom not my sister and bro not my friends not me :O But I rest assured my Abba Father knows exactly what's next.

I think, if I'm sitting beside you right now, whoever that is reading this, I would lurveee to talk talkltkatkltakl more on the details how crazily good God is to me and my friends (from camp) :D I received a new gift from Him too teehee! Happy giler lah you have nuuu idea :D

There's no other words for me to describe about the wonderful experience encounters ALL of us had in Kluang! Simply ... WOW!

;)

PS: I drove from Melacca to Kluang for the first time, on a highway, with a huge Exora, with 5 lives from 3 different families on my two bare hands :O Aunty Ally wasn't feeling well and I was the only most "qualified" driver to take the wheel. We didn't have a 'P' sticker for me to drive so we took out a piece of white paper and drew a 'P' on it, coloured the side with a red pen, and then stuck the paper on the front and back screen with a chewed chewing gum.

First day itself for camp was already krazee for me so yeah, the rest of the days were amazing :)

We all know this

I always wanted to stay in Singapore.

Love the organised city, cleanliness, education system and the shopping.

If I work there, it'll be worth it to spend on the shopping.

And to think that my kids will have a better educational system. (I'm just planning for a long term thingy heh)

But, once a Malaysian, always a Malaysian.

Even if I get to change my nationality to another country.

So I've decided on something that I thought about yesterday.

Instead of complaining and whining about Malaysia how... (u know), why not start praying, together with a bunch of youths/youngsters who shares the same fervent heart and vision, to see a change-for-the-better result in Malaysia? Where we were all born and grew up as Malaysians, go/going/gone thru whatever that happens in our country, who know what's really going on in our country.

'The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.' Proverbs 15:29

'...The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.' James 16:5

Yes, the grass is greener in the overseas, we all know this. but what will happen to OUR MALAYSIA if people like us one by one move out of this country?

Don't we all love the food here? The excellent climate? The natural resources? The 'Malaysia-lah' language? There are some more rooms for improvement waiting for us to carry out.

Minggu Doa is coming up, in Kluang. I've decided to start interceding for my home ground.

Don't want to miss the great doings (be it preparations or battling time) of His.

Surely, it's gonna be something!

While cooking together in the kitchen...

Today, I've just discovered that Mommy cooks (self taught some more) because she loves food.

And to think that I'm a miniature of Mommy in certain ways (quite a lot of ways actually) is pretty interesting tho'.

***

She was cutting pineapples, telling me that she dislikes cutting pineapples because of the nuisance cutting off its eyes... EYES??!

As I stare at it longer, I feel creepy about its eyes...

As if it's watching me.

My imagination was so disturbing that I hope I wouldn't dream of it tonight!

:O

Old photos and some videos

Old photos. It cracks my day up.

:D

and now...

A MUST WATCH VIDEO

of the

2009

production!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=140360957478&set=t.678145649&type=3

and ANOTHER VIDEO TO WATCH

also a 2009 production

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=117918859866&set=t.678665251&type=3&theater

:D

Food fanatic

I can't wait for Mommy to come home tomorrow! (Btw, Mom is away for a mission trip in Maesot)

When she's back, I want to help her in the kitchen again :D

Okie so, why the sudden passion in cooking?

• I want to be able to cook and eat healthy YET delicious food
• I'm a foodie, so I want to cook what I like and what I think it's appetizing/nice to eat
• After watching Junior Masterchef Australia. Oh man, I seriously needa cook!
• For future prep, as a wife and mother who knows how to cook. Not just making music.
• I also love to present my friends some freshly baked pretty cookies, tarts, cupcakes etc. and everyone gets to eat and that makes me happy :D
• I prefer home cooked meals

Starting from tomorrow, I've made up my mind to cook as much as I can, and bake pretty tarts, pies, cupcakes and cakes at least a few times in a month.

I'm gonna head down to MPH again and buy some really interesting baking books that I've found today. Hopefully, mom can come along with me ahhh I think I'll make her come hee! *winks

***

Today, it was really fascinating for me to see the way the Cooks cooked at the 'tai chow' restaurant just now. Seeing how they handled the kuali skillfully was just intriguing.

***

I also loveeee the feeling of the hot steam coming out from the oven, pots and pans.

And that super awesome feeling of getting my hands 'dirty' in cooking. I like!

But I dislike having cut fingers from the knives, coz I won't be able to hit the keys on the piano :(

What if I love cooking more than my music? @.@

Food fanatic.

I still love my music tho'

:)

PS : It's been quite some time that I recognize this cooking desire in me. It's not a one day feeling thingy, no worries :)

Wow little chefs!

S1's Australia's Junior Masterchef is...

Isabella! 97/100

Amazing! Mesmerizing!

:D

Jack was reeeeally awesome too! 94/100

I think the both of them are really good chefs!

They didn't get jealous of each other or mad or upset about themselves. Really humble people. I like!

I prefer watching the Junior Masterchef programme more than the adults ones.

Season 2 is getting more exciting :D

Junior Cooks

I was watching Junior Masterchef Australia (S1). Pierre was chosen as the Red head captain and he was given an opportunity to choose the Blue head captain. And so he chose Anthony.

When asked by the judges why Pierre chose Anthony, all he said was :

"It's because Anthony is my good friend and he is a good cook,"

Anthony : "Bring it on!"

Pierre : "I thought you're my friend..."

Kids :) Anthony's a little cheeky.

They are a bunch of exciting kids only aged 8-12, who love to cook.

Competitive and adorable!

Should check out the stuffs that they cook!

One of the kids just said this :

"Can you not put too much stress on me??"

LOL.

Small people, big flavours.

My Sistah

Some recycled photos of us.

People said we don't look alike.

Really?

I think it's kinda cool when we hang out together as sisters

And they think we're more like two good friends.

:D

2007 Christmas Caroling

Our best friend in the middle.

Talkative little birds.

Man, with Angel around, the three of us can talk talk talkt altkaltkatal non-stop!

Crap about almost everything.

:D

She looks a lot like my mom but possesses the attitude of my dad;

mine's the other way round.

Derrick is just in between both mom and dad :)

Soaking wet hair at Apeh Waterfall.

Until now, we still laugh over the name of it hee!

On the left: Our best friend :D

Sunburned and I looked really retarded here #.#

It's cool to know that Esther is my best friend/sister.

For my best friend, I would :

Wake up at 7am to drop her off for work;

Stay up late to hear all her story-of-the-day;

Be honest with all my opinions;

Laugh at all her embarrassing moments;

Crap with her anything under the sun;

Drive her nuts when either one of us are bored;

Fetch her up and down like nobody's business because she just got her driving licence;

... etc.

Aiyah kenot pen down everything here.

She always laughs at me when I talk to the traffic and cars that just cut me without signaling. She thinks it's funny.

That was before she knows how to drive.

But now that she knows how to drive, she talks to the traffic too!

Okie, yes I know I kept using the word 'best friend', it's because I have a lot of 'best friend' .

Teehee!

The Remnants

There are some more remnants that I still need to forgive.

I'll know it, that when I have completely forgiven you[s], is that when I stop tearing whenever I think about it.

Note : This is not a dark emo post. I'm far from that.

Non matching piece

Okay, first, I can't decide on which picture it is that is almost similar to what I had in mind. If only the first one could turn to his right like the second one, and a little more red and green on his shirt, then that should be able to fit what my description is. Moreover, it should be most likely in a jigsaw puzzle mode ;) I just love both.

***

I guess one of the pieces wouldn't fit in the jigsaw puzzle, it just wouldn't fit it :( I rationalize with Him almost everyday.

If it doesn't fit, somehow or later I need to swallow the fact and stop denying it.

***

Don't know why it was a picture of a man running in the American football game. Was it a kind of race/competition in life? I just know that the puzzles are the Parts of His plans.

If it doesn't match, and we know it, well it just doesn't! :/

Ohhh the agony of the painful fact, yet it's a loving plan of His.

Wow to these Berklee's Presidential Scholars

http://www.berklee.edu/scholarships/presidential/

So inspiring! I meant their testimonies.

Berklee's Presidential Scholars. They're a bunch of good talented and humble people. Some don't even play jazz and yet they hold THE presendential scholarship. They are just being themselves, playing what they like, and loving music with their whole heart. Some are even just Sem 1 students. Wow! Right!

They play because they love music, not so much on impressing other musicians. I like that. And I have one friend of mine that reminded me days ago, saying, "Music is an expression".

Feel so motivated right now to love what I'm doing right now, my piano and the stuffs that I'm learning as a musician even more after watching the short clips :)

I think I've watched all 28 videos of them.

Just inspiring.

:')

Me, Derrick and... Salmon!

We decided to sit down and chit chat about food, cartoons, music, our studies, cats who've just came into our house, etc. anything under the sun! And then, we reached the part where I was just joking, wondering why did the sneaky cat sneak into our house. Was it because of mom's Baked Salmon with Basil on the table? That was our dinner and I forgotten to snap a picture of it ehehe :P It was reeeeally good tho!

Then I made a bet with him. The "L" must buy the winner an ice cream.

"Salmon are orange!"

And he went :

"Noh! Green head and red body!"

(AHAHAHA yea rite! He must be joking watching too much of cartoons)

We actually google them up and...

But I still insist them to be orange!

And then he was moving the mouse swiftly on the google photos

"nah nah nah NAHHH!"

Green head, red body fishes.

Shucks. A 10-year-old kiddo telling me that he watched National Geography and yes, these are how salmon look like.

Okie, he didn't win because I told him that I was describing the inside of a salmon and his was the outside ones.

Eheh!

:P

What's on my mind?

RESULTS are out.

All in all, I'm moving on to the next sem.

I could have done better.

But, thank God for what I have :)

Really.

Okie, time to get down to BUSINESS.

I'm gonna draw a plan on HOW TO PRACTICE.

Ehehe, the word "plan" sounds good to me.

I'll start with a PLAN first.

I hope the results/outcome will be good.

I understand that it takes time and sweat and tears and effort in this process,

AND prayers to see me thru' it, get ideas from God about my planning and the way to carry it out.

Okie, it's already a year of studying music.

No point turning back and looking back at the other road signs that say "DENTIST" and "PEDIATRICIAN".

Gota' get my head in this "league" I'm in.

Gota' give my VERY BEST in this music line I'm in right now!

High time to think like a musician, practice like a musician, and enjoy music like a musician!

Sleep like a musician?? err, no thanks! :)

I'll still sleep before 12.30am and wake up around 9am.

It's almost 12am so... Good night!

:D

Food that made me happy today

These dishes...! Made my day!

1. Papaya Mango Thai salad with lemon dressing as appetizer

(The pan fried peanut was the BOM! The topping I meant :P)

2. Roasted "burned" chicken :P Left in the oven while we went out for grocery shopping.

Tsk tsk tsk, never again will we make the same mistake.

It was so dry but... okie, edible I would say nyeheh!

To compensate the chicken, 3. Steaming hot Ikan Asam was tangy and appetizing.

Everyone was super quiet *nom nom nom*

The word that kept coming out was: YUM!

Okie, I always talk about food cooked by my mom and dad so nah, here they are. This is what we eat :D Maybe I should start taking pictures of their cooking so that I'll have some ideas later in the US when I look back at my blog :P

Man! So much to learn about cooking :D It was fun helping them out. Just that, the not so fun part was me doing the dishes alone @.@ Esther has started working so it's still me washing the pots and pans and kuali and plates and cups etc. alone. It's okay, I have my...

super effective HAND CREAM teeheehee!

"Made out of 100% extra virgin olive oil"

...

Tadaa!

I like!

:D

Little Dream in Me

I have this dream in me.

To open a music school with my friends.

To teach children and learners who want to have some fun in music.

To write many songs that inspire and encourage people from various places.

Since I enjoy cooking and baking too, I shall set up a little cafeteria in our music school.

Where all the locals can stop by for some hot cakes and buns, and enjoy sipping a cup of hot Chinese tea.

And perhaps, they can be comfortable with the whole settings while waiting for whoever's lesson to finish.

Teach and encourage, but slow to get enraged.

Sometimes I'm abit afraid of this dream. Will I ever be able to get there? To get what I desire? What if my dream changes with time? Will I still persevere?

This is my present little dream that I carry and put it in my pocket, wherever I go :)

Don't talk about it (Really?)

Someone once told me this :

"By not talking about that something will help you to forget about it."

Really??

I wanna' try then!